


The Audacity of Kim Junmyeon

by pcyxiumin



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chanyeol - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Smut, Suho - Freeform, suyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-10-24 07:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10736685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcyxiumin/pseuds/pcyxiumin
Summary: Kim Junmyeon, your next door neighbor and your…ex best friend. The two of you used to do everything together, but it seemed that after puberty struck the two of you, he just gave up on being your friend. Now, after years of no communication, he begins talking to you again. There’s only one problem - you can’t resist him.





	1. 1

You looked up from your paper, nearly looking back down once you met the eyes of Kim Junmyeon. Not only was he your neighbor, he was your  _hot_  neighbor. You often saw the parties he threw but never attended them. Mostly because you didn’t want to, but there was also the small factor that he didn’t ever invite you.

The two of you used to be good friends. That was because once puberty hit, he distanced himself from you. So, you grew taller without your best friend - your body changed just like Junmyeon’s demeanor towards you. That wasn’t the only thing that changed. He grew as well - his body taller and his shoulders broader.

“Sorry.” He said to you. “Chanyeol has a thing for you. Figured I’d save you from that.”

“I don’t need your help.” You replied, continuing to write your notes down. Junmyeon scoffed.

“You needed my help tying your shoes, so you’ll really need my help to ward of guys like Chanyeol.” He hadn’t talked to you in years now, what was he doing? You sighed, setting your pencil down.

“And what if I don’t want to ward him off?” You said it to spite him. You weren’t interested in him or his friends.

“Then he’ll fuck you and leave right after. Thought you were smarter than that.” His words made your face heat up. He smirked. “Wouldn’t want that for your first, would you?”

“Chanyeol wouldn’t be my first.” You defended yourself. That was a lie. You’d never had a serious enough relationship and you never really had the urge to.

“Trust me, I know an innocent girl when I see one.” He bit down on his bottom lip. “Just watch out for him. I wouldn’t trust.”

“Why should I trust  _you_?” You furrowed your eyebrows. “We aren’t even friends.”

“So? You know me better than anyone here. I don’t lie, especially not to you.” He turned around after that, a silent sigh of relief leaving your lips. He knew nothing about you.

The bell rang and even as the next class began, his words clogged your mind.

Ugh. The audacity of Kim Junmyeon.

You had a few classes with Junmyeon and the rest you didn’t have with him, you had with Chanyeol. How Chanyeol was in an advanced history class, you would never know.  _However_ , he wasn’t as dumb as he let on. He usually got one of the highest scores in the class.

That was when the project was introduced. Usually, being advanced, you didn’t get many projects. You were excited…until you found out your partner was Chanyeol. You sat next to him and he gave you a smile. Was Junmyeon just being a dick to you? Chanyeol was being nice.

“So this actually gives me an excuse to talk to you. I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while but I just…wasn’t able to. I was just wondering if maybe you’d want to…get to know each other better.” His words made Junmyeon’s replay over and over again in your head but you knew better than to judge Chanyeol based off of what Junmyeon told you.

“Oh, yeah, that’s cool.” You gave him a smile.

“Thank God.” He sighed. “I thought you were gonna say no.” He took a deep breath before composing himself and you held back the smile that had already begun forming on your lips.

“I have no reason to say no.” You shrugged. “From what I know, you’re not a bad guy.” You told him. For the rest of the hour, the two of your discussed the project, both of you agreeing on the country you wanted to research.

After school you got into your car and processed everything the day had brought to you. You wondered who was telling the truth. Was Chanyeol just trying to hook up with you or was he actually a genuine guy? You nearly bounced your head of the steering wheel, refusing to think about either of them any more than you had to.

You arrived at your house and the whole Chanyeol thing began to annoy you so much that you just… _couldn’t_  handle it anymore. You walked out of your front door and knocked on Junmyeon’s, crossing your arms over your chest as you waited for him to answer.

“What’re you doing here?” He asked once he saw you behind his door.

“I need to talk to you.” You shuffled your feet, wishing you’d brought a jacket. It hadn’t been this chilly earlier when you arrived home.

“Listen, I get that I might’ve been a bit friendly earlier but I don’t want you to -”

“That was  _friendly_?” You scoffed. “What  _happened_  to you? Where’s the little kid that used to cry when he was ‘it’ in tag?”

“I’m not a little kid anymore.” He replied simply. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, I can see that. Now you’re just a dick.” You turned around to leave and you almost flinched when he wrapped his fingers around your wrist. He turned you back around and made you look at him.

“Why do you think I stopped talking to you?” He asked. You couldn’t tell if he was genuinely asking or if he was just being mean.

“Because you’re an asshole.” You told him, jerking your wrist away from his grip. “I was nothing but nice to you, all the damn time, and as soon as you hit twelve you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Fuck, you were my best friend!” You slapped his hand away when he reached for you again. “You were  _all_  I had, Junmyeon. And now you just came back to tell me that a guy’s not good for me? Since when do you  _actually_  care?” You probably shouldn’t have snapped like that, but you deserved an explanation.

“ _I’m_  an asshole? Then what the fuck are you doing at my house?” His tone shocked you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore. You would even say that back then you loved him. Junmyeon had always been sweet, easily making  _any_  girl swoon. You weren’t the first and you definitely weren’t the last.

What were you doing at his house? He wasn’t that sweet little boy anymore. He was the teenaged version of that now distant boy; the one who pretty much fucked anything that could walk. He would never be your best friend again.

“Well fine, don’t expect me to believe you about Chanyeol then. He seems nicer than you.” You scoffed, turning to walk away.

“Then at least make sure to close your damn curtains before you bring him into your room to fuck you.” Junmyeon retorted, already making your jaw drop. “I’ve seen enough already.” The color drained from your face as you remembered that your bedroom was across from Junmyeon’s and you’d probably forgotten to close them once or twice when you changed.

“Ugh,  _fuck_  you, Kim Junmyeon.” You groaned, walking away from his door.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I only like girls that know what they’re doing.”

It took all the self control you had to keep walking and ignore him.


	2. 2

Junmyeon didn’t talk to you for a couple days and you were thankful for that. You didn’t want to deal with him. You stared at your ceiling that night and wondered what had gone so wrong in Junmyeon’s life to make him act like this.

Not that you cared. You stopped caring six years ago when he stopped talking to you. Both of him and Chanyeol weren’t present at school that day, and it kind of weirded you out. You and Chanyeol were supposed to be working on your project.

You decided to just go home. Luckily (maybe?) you’d gotten Chanyeol’s number and you texted him to see what was up. It was purely for the project, neither of you could’ve afforded to not do this. He only took a few minutes to reply.

 **[5:34 PM] You:** are you dead

 **[5:36 PM] Chanyeol:**  sadly no

 **[5:36 PM] Chanyeol:**  I did beat Junmyeon’s ass though

 **[5:36 PM] Chanyeol:** Kind of

 **[5:37 PM] You:**  kind of?

 **[5:37 PM] Chanyeol:**  It’s hard to explain

 **[5:37 PM] Chanyeol:**  am I still allowed over?

 **[5:38 PM] You:**  of course

 **[5:38 PM] Chanyeol:** Cool, be there in twenty

What the hell did they get into a fight over? You had thought for a long time that they were good friends. You just shook your head, getting the things for the project out and ready for Chanyeol’s arrival. You told your mother that he was coming over for the project and she said that was fine.

He knocked on the door and you let him in. He didn’t seem to be too bruised up, but as soon as he walked in the door, your mother came in.

“Oh, you must be Chanyeol.” She grinned, walking over to him. “I’m (Y/N)’s mother! She hasn’t brought a boy over in - how many years? Six?”

“ _Mom_!” You warned her, shooing her away. Chanyeol attempted to hide his smile from you as your mom just giggled and left the room.

“I’m honored.” He actually smiled that time.

“She’s exaggerating.” You pouted. “I bring guys here  _all_  the time.” You nodded, but he only laughed.

“For some reason, I really don’t believe that.”

* * *

The two of you worked for an hour before your mother called you into the kitchen. You stood in front of her, responding with a quick ‘yeah’ before she spoke.

“Is he staying for dinner?”

“Mom, isn’t that a bit much -”

“Of course not. He’s a guest! Project or not. Go ask him.” She encouraged you. You sighed and nodded, hoping that she wouldn’t ask him too many questions. You and Chanyeol weren’t a  _thing_. At least, you didn’t think you were. The two of you spent most of your ‘project’ time just talking to each other.

“Chanyeol?” You peeked your head back into the living room and found him.

“Yeah?” He looked up from whatever he was coloring.

“Are you staying for dinner? Chef wants to know.”

“Uh, if you want me to I will.” He smiled at you. He found it just as awkward as you did. It was like your mom expected you and Chanyeol to be something since you brought him here. The two of you worked on the project a bit more before you began to ask questions about Junmyeon.

“Why did you and Junmyeon fight?”

“That’s…a long story. In the end, we both got suspended for it so it was kinda dumb.” He chuckled, not looking up from the paper.

“We’ve got time.” You nudged his arm that wasn’t coloring. “She takes forever to cook when she’s trying to impress someone.” Chanyeol put the colored pencil down, turning his head to look at you.

“He got mad at me. I got mad at him. Punches were thrown, teachers got involved. It’s over now. Don’t worry about it.” His uneasy smile did little to convince you as you furrowed your eyebrows but nodded.

Neither of you talked for a bit after that, the awkwardness weighing down on the two of you as you continued to work. Most of the project was done, but it wasn’t due for another week. You didn’t even realize how productive the two of you were together. You two made a good team.

You frowned at yourself for that thought and shook your head to expel the thought. Your mom called the two of you in for dinner. There was minimal conversation and what there was of conversation was between your mother and Chanyeol.

Soon, it was over and you were leading Chanyeol towards the door. You followed him outside for a second because he asked to talk to you.

“What’s up?” You asked, sliding your hands into the back pockets of your jeans.

“I think I should be completely honest with you.” He began. “I’ve been trying to find a way to spend time with you and this project definitely helped me with that…but I think this should end here.” You attempted to process his words, furrowing your eyebrows as you looked at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I know this is ridiculous, I’ve only been talking to you for three days but I…I think I  _like_  you and that’s why we can’t keep talking. You’re really easy to talk to and you’ve got the best sense of humor, you’re smart and beautiful but really…even if you weren’t thinking about me, I just don’t think I could ever…be right for you.” He attempted to explain. “And since I’m being honest I should tell you that liking you was definitely not my original intention…as I’m sure Junmyeon already informed you of them.” Junmyeon’s words ran through your head again and you looked into Chanyeol’s eyes.

“Chanyeol…what do you -”

“I should go.” He turned around, sighing before turning back to you. “I never planned on…liking you, but it’s a good thing I did. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I see what you’re like now. I’ve met your family and both you and your mother are good people. I guess I’ve never considered what happens in other people’s daily lives so I just…I hate that I’m even telling you this. It’s probably upsetting you.” He wasn’t upsetting you. In fact, you were more shocked than anything. You crossed your arms over your chest as you looked at him.

“I mean…you told me, so that’s gotta mean you’re not entirely a douchebag.” You shrugged. He gave a small laugh, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone after you with intentions like that. I…”

“I don’t want you to go.” You told him simply. He moved closer to you, towering over you with your height difference. You looked back up at him, intimidated by the way his eyes travelled back and forth between your eyes and your lips.

“Make me leave.” He whispered.

“No.” Your voice was small but as soon as he heard the word leave you mouth his lips were on yours. His fingers gripped your waist and pulled you closer to him. You weren’t exactly sure what to do, you’d never been kissed like  _that_  before. He broke away once he needed to breathe.

“God damn it.” He breathed, taking a deep breath. He moved himself away from you and left you standing in front of your front door as he got into his car. He drove off and not once did you take your eyes off of him.

You turned to go back inside, stopping when you saw Junmyeon outside his own house. He was looking right at you, if he’d been outside long enough he would’ve heard the conversation between you and Chanyeol very clearly.

You just heard him scoff as you kept your eye contact with him. Soon after that, his hands fell against his sides and he walked back into his house. Your mind was whirling at this point, first from Chanyeol and now the disappointed look on Junmyeon’s face - what the hell was going on?

You turned back into your house and walked into the kitchen to help your mom.

“He seemed like a nice boy.” Your mom smiled. “Will he be over more?”

“I don’t think so mom.” You heard her sigh and it almost caused your own sigh.

“Honey, why not? You’re almost eighteen, I think it’s time you broaden your horizons. Waiting around for that Kim boy -” You interrupted her by dropping the plate you were washing in the sink. You turned to her.

“That is the last thing I’m doing.” You told her. “He was my best friend, I never liked him like that anyway. I’m sorry that him just randomly not talking to me after nearly twelve years of being friends kind of sets me off from the male gender in general, I don’t even want to talk to him but he just keeps talking to me -” You stopped yourself, just shaking your head. “I don’t want him and I never did.” You turned around and left the kitchen, oddly feeling your eyes well with tears.

You entered your room, lying on your bed with your limbs splayed out messily. You heard your phone buzz and you wished it was anyone but -

It was an unknown number.

 **[8:34 PM] Unknown Number:**  I told you

You scoffed, knowing exactly who it was once you read the text.

 **[8:34 PM] You:**  At least he was a good guy and admitted it

 **[8:34 PM] Junmyeon:** And now I’m sure you’re craving more with him

 **[8:35 PM] Junmyeon:**  Any good fuckboy has tactics

You threw your phone on your bed and ignored his texts. Who was he to try to ‘protect’ you? He hadn’t talked to you for six years and now he wanted to come back into your life. It was frustrating and you didn’t have time for it.

You missed him, sure, even six years later and you remember what it was like when you used to stub your toe. He would give you piggyback rides back to your house. You remembered what happened when you were learning how to ride a bike. You fell so many times and he was the only one there to help you back up. Your phone buzzed again.

 **[8:43 PM] Junmyeon:**  Please don’t ignore me

 **[8:43 PM] You:**  No you’re a dick leave me alone

 **[8:43 PM] Junmyeon:**  when will you realize that I’m just trying to help you?

 **[8:43 PM] You:**  when Chanyeol actually gives me a reason to think he’s a bad guy

You got up and got your things ready to get in the shower before your mom called you downstairs. You stopped at the bottom of the stairs and you sighed, seeing who was at the door in front of her. Kim Junmyeon.

“Send him home.” You turned and went back up the stairs.

You sat on your bed, but you weren’t ready for him to open the door and walk into your room.

“Get out.” You demanded, standing from your bed. “I don’t want you here.”

“I don’t care. I have things to say.” He replied bluntly.

“Junmyeon, please just -” He moved closer to you, much like Chanyeol had, except he didn’t hesitate to press his lips against yours. You only fought for a few seconds before you realized how much you’d wanted to feel his lips. Your breath hitched as he gripped your waist. Junmyeon’s lips melded with yours and you suddenly felt as if your room was far too intimate a place to be doing this.

“This is the reason I left.” He growled lowly. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I loved you then, you know.”

“Jun, I -”

“Don’t.” He connected your lips again, your world spinning around you as you felt him back you up. You knees hit the back of your bed, a gasp leaving your lips as you fell against the sheets. You couldn’t even process what was happening while he was climbing over you.

He fit between your legs perfectly. You’d never been in a position like this before, but feeling him pressed against you was doing things to you. Just ten minutes ago you hated his guts for leaving you. Now, you wanted him closer.

“Stop.” You pushed at his chest, which heaved once he pulled away from the kiss. “I don’t want to do this.” You were lying. You wanted him but you would never tell him that. Not at that point in time. His hands held his body weight off of yours, the muscles in his arms flexing generously.

He stared at you for a few seconds, the familiar eyes almost making you want to cry. He looked _so similar_ to that boy you knew all those years ago - but he was different. He was older, knowing many more experiences than little twelve year old Junmyeon ever would’ve dreamed of.

“I-I want you to leave.” You gathered the courage to say. “I don’t even know you anymore.”

“You can know me.” He whispered. “Better than you ever have before.” His voice made you shiver and you knew there was no way you were making it out of this even close to alive. You had the urge to clench your thighs together and kiss him again. You had no idea what made you feel that way. You were sure you hated Kim Junmyeon.

When you failed to answer him, he began to grind his hips down into yours. Your eyes widened and your breathing was becoming uneven. He knew exactly what he was doing. He was  _experienced_. He’d been with more girls than you could count on your fingers. He wouldn’t be yours, whether you did this or not. You definitely did not want to lose your virginity to Kim Junmyeon.

“I don’t want it to be you.” You nearly gasped. “I don’t want you to take anything from me.” That stopped him. He seemed to come to his senses. His eyes widened and he quickly moved away from you.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, a small break in his cocky facade. “I…I don’t deserve anything from you.” He stuttered on almost every word, trying to come back to his senses. “I’m sorry.” He repeated once more before he ran out of the room.

You sat there, attempting to regain your breath and your sanity. Kim Junmyeon had just been on top of you, in between your legs, and all of this happened on your bed.

No matter what, you had to convince yourself that you couldn’t trust Junmyeon. He wasn’t who he was six years ago, he was different. You had to remember that. You felt ashamed that he’d been able to get you wet with his simple actions.

You shook your head, attempting to get his worried eyes out of your brain. You decided on taking a shower to distract yourself from not only him, but your mind as well.


	3. 3

The next week, both boys weren’t at school. Luckily, yours and Chanyeol’s project was finished so you didn’t have to be awkward around him. It was very awkward either way, the two of you still sat next to each other, and you could feel his gaze on you.

You skin prickled as you attempted to avoid his eyes. You listened to your teacher rant on about something to do with politics but eventually you just leaned back against your chair and gave up on listening. For some odd reason, you still wanted to talk to Chanyeol, despite the things he told you the week before.

The bell rang and you let out a sigh of relief, bolting from your seat and out of the door. Your next class was sure to be even more awkward than the last - Junmyeon was in this one. At least he sat across the room from you.

The teacher only took up half of the hour, so the rest was time to do your homework. Your head was in a whirl and you couldn’t concentrate and it was all their fault - both Junmyeon and Chanyeol. You had to admit you wouldn’t mind kissing either of them again but then you remembered how much experience they had and the warnings. Chanyeol even  _told_  you his intentions.

“Can we talk?” Junmyeon walked up to you. Your heart sank into your stomach and your trance was broken.

“No.” You replied simply, his presence distracting you from the worksheet in front of you. “I’m trying to work. Go away.”

“You don’t have to talk, but just listen okay?” His voice was quiet. “I’m sorry for last week. It wasn’t right of me to do that. I took it too far and I should’ve just left when you asked. With that in mind, I also didn’t mean what I said. I’ve never thought of you as more than a friend…even now.” You were surprised when there was a pang in your heart. You took a deep breath before you could even think of anything to say.

“That’s funny because six years ago I loved you. Then you left, for no fucking reason and now here we are, sitting in a classroom and talking more than we have in years.” You paused, staring directly into his eyes. “I don’t want to talk to you. Leave me alone.”

“Y-you what?” His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you, but you just turned your attention back to your worksheet. He sighed. “You can’t just ignore me now.”

“Hm, try again in six years. Maybe I’ll stop then.” You stood up and walked up to the teacher. She allowed you to go to the bathroom and you left without hesitation. It was easy for Junmyeon, it should’ve been as easy for you as well.

You closed the door behind you and turned to leave and you ran into the one other person you hadn’t wanted to see. You nearly ran right into him, but you stopped slowly looking up to catch his gaze. You didn’t know what to do, you were literally trapped between Chanyeol and Junmyeon.

“Why do you look so scared?” He asked, his eyes burning into yours. You were intimidated, it was obvious to him and you had trouble forming words.

“What are you doing here?” You didn’t answer his question.

“I got the results for our project and I thought you’d want to know.” He replied. You nodded slowly, holding your hand out for him to give you the paper. The corners of his lips twitched upwards into a smile. “Do I make you nervous?”

“T-that’s not it.” You replied quickly. “I’m just…” You searched for the word. “…overwhelmed right now.”

“Why?”

“You’re really inquisitive, aren’t you?”

“Stop answering my questions with more questions.” He scoffed, the humor in his voice becoming apparent.

“Then start answering my questions.” You couldn’t bring yourself to laugh over this situation. You took a deep breath before continuing. “So what’s the score?”

“We did well.” He replied. “Ninety-seven percent.” You let out a sigh of relief.

“That’s good.” You nodded, attempting to give him a small smile. You moved out of the doorway, passing him before he grabbed your wrist. You looked up at him, wide-eyed, unsure of what he was going to do now.

“I guess we just make a good team.”

* * *

You were absolutely drained by the time you got home that day. Chanyeol was confusing you even more so than Junmyeon already had. You tried your best to forget what happened and to do just that, you took a nap.

You were woken up by someone shaking you gently. You opened one of your eyes and when you saw Chanyeol you were suddenly wide awake.

“What are you -”

“Your mom was leaving when I got here. She said it was okay that I was here. I can go if you want, though.” He told you, sitting on the edge of your bed.

“No, it’s okay.” You frowned, attempting to wake up again.

“I figured we could go somewhere.” He shrugged. “I was bored and I thought of you.” You sat up, paying close attention to him. His smile was small but genuine. Did Chanyeol  _really_  like you? You had no way of knowing.

“Like where?” You asked, sitting up. You’d only just realized his hand was resting on your thigh. He must not have noticed either, because it was quickly withdrawn.

“Wherever you want to go.” He shrugged.

“What if I wanted to go to France or something? Then what would you do?”

“Start swimming.” His words made you laugh, shaking your head slowly. He smiled at you, tilting his head to the side. “This is why I couldn’t stay away from you. You’re so cute.” You stopped laughing and you looked at him, your eyes widening a little.

He looked down at you. He leaned forward just enough to tell you what he was asking you. You nodded and he smiled before closing the space between the two of you. His hands cupped your cheeks as he worked his lips against yours.

“She’s not here?” You asked him. He shook his head. You don’t know what came over you, but you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him over you. You felt his body tense.

“What are you doing?” He asked, surprisingly calm. You shrugged.

“You can get up if you want to.” You watched as his expression changed from shock to concern.

“But you - I just - I’ve wanted you but -”

“You worry too much.” You chuckled, pulling him closer so you could kiss him. It only took him a few seconds to catch on.

He kissed you back, his lips soft against your own. You tried to ignore the fact that you couldn’t get Junmyeon out of your mind. You’d been like this with him too, and all you could think about was how  _his_  arms flexed next to your head as he held himself up, how  _his_  body felt, not Chanyeol’s.

“Do something.” You told him, regardless of what your thoughts were telling you. He stopped, regaining his breath as he looked at you.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Touch me.” You told him, not having much time to say anything else as his lips found yours again. One of his hands moved to touch your waist, the simple action already doing things to you.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I-I’ll touch you if you want me to but don’t feel like you have to -”

“Why don’t you feel and find out?” You smirked and you watched as his eyes widened.

“You know, I came here to ask you on a date and this was  _not_  what I had planned.” He groaned, connecting your lips together and rutting his hips against yours. You gasped against his lips and you felt his smirk.

His fingers went for the buttons on your shirt and you felt your face heat up as you almost moved your hands to stop him. You were only wearing your bra behind the black blouse and as he pushed it off of you, your nude colored bra was what caught his eyes.

“Do you want to leave it on?” He asked you, the seriousness in his eyes contrasting his earlier personality.

You nodded timidly and he gave you a small smile before he leaned down and began to kiss your neck. Oddly, enough you found yourself tilting your head to the side so he could have better access.

“I won’t leave marks.” He whispered to you. “In visible places.” Your heart sped up and you had to hold back a moan. His lips brushed over your collarbones, drifting down to kiss the exposed skin of your breasts. You had no idea what to say, you’d clearly never been in this position before. You had no exact idea what he was going to do but you wanted it. You wanted him and whatever he was going to give you.

“Chan, I need you.” You whispered to him, too afraid to say it any louder.

“I know, just be patient.” He kissed down your body and stopped at the hem of your leggings, looking up from his position to see if he had your permission. You nodded and his fingers hooked in the fabric and he pulled it down, taking your panties with it.

He started with your thighs, kissing and nipping marks into your skin that only you’d be able to see. You wanted him to touch you where you need him most. You attempted to push your thighs together, but his hands grabbed your legs and spread them further for him.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked you.

“Positive.” You told him. You had no idea what to expect, but as soon as he licked up your core you gasped, bucking your hips up.

“Fuck, you really haven’t done anything before.” His words made you blush and you made a mental note to try and control yourself. He looked up at you. “It’s all about you sweetheart, do what you want. Discipline will come with time.” You didn’t know why the words sent a shiver up your spine.

His mouth returned to your core, flattening his tongue as he seemingly devoured you. His pace was slow but the new sensations were too much for you. He began to play with your clit, swirling his tongue around it and sucking it into his mouth. You moaned, tangling your fingers in his hair as if it was instinct.

“That’s my girl.” He growled, the vibrations against your core making you whine. His lips wrapped around your clit and he sucked on it before you felt his fingers trail up your thighs. Two of his fingers prodded at your entrance and you lifted your hips to encourage him.

He slowly slid his long fingers into you and you cried out, arching your back. You’d never felt so much pleasure. Your breathing was coming out as high pitched whimpers. He began to pull his fingers out and slowly push them back in before he’d set his pace.

“Tell me how you’re feeling, sweetheart.” He told you before returning his tongue to your clit.

“So good.” You replied quietly, nervous and scared to raise your voice any higher. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself. His tongue sped up, flicking your clit fast and you began to feel something in the pit of your stomach. The different moan that left your mouth was probably the give away.

“Oh, close already?” His mouth was making lewd sounds against your core and at this point, it was the hottest thing you’d ever heard. His fingers sped up, making you arch up into him and more moans leave your lips.

He gave one last hard suck on your clit and you nearly screamed out in pleasure, rutting your hips against his face. You vision nearly blurred as you felt your body reach what you needed. You squirmed under him as the pleasure took you over.

“There you go.” He groaned. “Fuck, that was hot.” He lifted his face from your core and slowly withdrew his fingers. He sucked them into his mouth to get your wetness off of them. You watched him as you attempted to catch your breath.

His hair was messy and some areas around his mouth were still shining with your wetness. You sat there for a second, stunned that you’d had the courage to do that. He got up from you bed and you couldn’t help but notice the strain in his pants.

“Wait.” You looked at him. “What about you?”

“What about me?” He raised his eyebrow.

“Don’t you want help?”

“Do I want it? Fuck yeah I do. Am I going to make you touch me? No. I can do it.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Chan, shouldn’t I learn how to…you know.” You gestured towards him and he laughed.

“Sweetheart, you’re fine. I don’t want you to do this because I have very little self control.” He winked at you. “I’ll be in the bathroom. Give me like ten minutes to get off.” He exited the room and you felt yourself sigh. You sat up and buttoned your shirt up. You grabbed a different pair of panties and you slid your leggings back on.

He was actually accurate on time. He came back in around ten minutes, the bulge in his pants gone. He walked over to you and grabbed your hips, kissing you softly. You kissed him back, while attempting to fix his hair.

“Ready to go?” He grinned at you.

* * *

It was the next morning at school that he started acting differently. You were at your locker and he walked up to you, leaning against the one next to it. He walked you to your class and insisted that you waited for him after as well.

After almost a week of that, you stopped in front of your first hour door.

“Chan…what’s going on with you?” You asked before entering your first class.

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

“You’re acting differently.”

“Well, yeah, this is under different circumstances.” He nodded.

“Is it?”

“W-well I thought we were like… _together_ , I don’t know.” He shrugged, the blush forming on his face. “Did that not…did I not elaborate that?”

“Not really.” A smile broke on your face as you watched him become more and more flustered.

“Oh… _oh_  God, I’m sorry, that’s so awkward.” He groaned. “Do you not like me like that? That’s so awkward oh no -”

“I never said that.” You rolled your eyes. “You just never did anything.”

“Let me take you out after school then.” He had his hand on your shoulder.

“Where?” You scrunched up your nose.

“I would say anywhere but then you’d suggest France and I didn’t get enough sleep to be able to sleep that long.” He joked and you let out a small laugh. He smiled at you. “It’s a surprise. Please.”

“Fine. Now go to class, you’re gonna be late.” You pushed at his shoulder gently and he nodded.

“Okay, fine. I’ll see you later.” He went to turn away but he stopped himself, making you raise your eyebrow. He moved closer to you and kissed you quickly, making a pink blush form on your face. He grinned. “Sorry, had to do that. Bye.” And he was gone.

You took a deep breath and almost had to fan your face to calm the blush down. You walked into your class and it didn’t take long for Junmyeon to come up to you. You tried your best to ignore his presence.

“Does he know you’re in love with me?” He questioned.

“ _Was_ , Junmyeon. That was six years ago.” You replied bluntly.

“It doesn’t take much to bring back the love for the first guy you were in love with, you know. Like, what would happen if I kissed you?” The sharpness of his voice was really starting to get on your nerves.

“I would probably punch you.”

“You seem different.” He narrowed his eyes at you. “You’ve got a different aura.”

“Dude, of course I’m different.” You rolled your eyes. “I’m not letting you talk to me anymore.” You grabbed your stuff and stood up. You walked away from him to the back of the classroom and continued to work on what you had.

You would’ve thought he might’ve taken the hint. He didn’t. He followed you back there.

“Please, you know you wish it was me who was being all touchy with you, don’t you?” His words were sparking your anger but you tried to sit through it and ignore him. You were strong. You could do it. He laughed. “Have you actually let him in your pants already? Didn’t know you could be so easy -” You cut him off by reaching across the desk and slapping him in the face.

The sound resonated throughout the room and everyone stopped what they were doing to turn their heads. Junmyeon rubbed the spot where you hit him, an impressed smirk on his face. You stood up, your chair nearly screeching across the floor as you just walked out of the door.

You walked straight to the bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror as you leaned against the sinks. You took a deep breath before running the water and splashing your face with it rather ungracefully. When you looked up, you jumped. Junmyeon was standing in the bathroom, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You know, I never thought you had that in you. That hurt.” Junmyeon said.

“Good.” You scoffed. “This is the girl’s bathroom, get out.”

“No, I think I like it in here.” He shrugged, looking around.

“Do you have  _any_  limits?” You groaned. “Literally, when someone leaves a fucking room to get away from you, you probably shouldn’t follow them.”

“What’s the fun in sitting in that boring class when there’s nobody to screw with?” He shrugged. “I should just start coming over for dinner. Your mom would be so -”

“Just shut the fuck up.” You yelled at him. “You’re so annoying that I literally want to put you in a damn headlock until you pass out so just shut the fuck up!”

“Kinky.” He replied.

“Good  _God_ , the ego you have is ridiculously unattractive.”

“Well, you still love me so -”

“ _No_ , I  _used_  to and you make me question why I ever did.” You scoffed, attempting to walk past him to get back to class. He grabbed your arm, pulling you close to him. He wasted no time in pressing his lips roughly against yours. You were too shocked to fight back at first but then you were able to get away from him.

“You didn’t do that last time.” He snapped.

“Yeah, last time was under different circumstances. Leave me alone.” You retorted.

“So you  _did_  fuck Chanyeol.”

“ _No_ , I didn’t!” You rolled your eyes. “Do you think you’re so irresistible that I have to fuck someone in order to want to stay away from you? It’s none of your business anyways.”

“I  _warned_  you of his intentions and you’re still doing shit with him.” He gave off a bitter laugh. “You’re letting a piece of shit  _use_  you -”

“Like you have  _any_  damn room to talk.” You jerked your wrist from his grasp. “What are  _you_  then? It’s not okay for Chanyeol to sleep around but once you do it, it’s perfectly fine and angelic?”

“I never -” Junmyeon was interrupted when you felt someone grabbing your arm and pulling you to the door. You looked up and for a split second you saw Chanyeol before he was advancing towards Junmyeon. Chanyeol held him up against the wall, dangerously close to his face as you watched in shock.

“What the  _fuck_  did I say about talking to her?” He growled lowly. “You don’t fucking know  _shit_. Leave her the fuck alone.” Your jaw dropped. You’d never heard such a dark tone come from Chanyeol and this side of him was almost enough to scare you. Junmyeon shoved at Chanyeol’s chest, barely making him stumble backwards.

“So you think that just because you got with her that you can just show up whenever you want?” Junmyeon looked angry too. “You’re fucking insane, Park, do you think she can’t handle herself?” Chanyeol advanced again but this time you grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

His demeanor softened almost immediately when he regarded you. You just shook your head and pulled him towards the exit. He followed you, shooting one last warning glare at Junmyeon before you turned down a hallway until he stopped you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. You smiled at him and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Let’s get out of here. Go grab your stuff and we can go get ice cream.”


	4. 4

You invited Chanyeol over, knowing your mom wouldn’t mind. She enjoyed when Chanyeol was over and even got along with him. After he was over a couple days ago, she pulled you aside to tell you that she really liked him and that you should too - you weren’t far from it, actually, but you would never tell her that. The last thing you needed was for her to embarrass you.

He arrived that day and the two of you went up to your room. Your mom trusted you and had this been before you were nearly eighteen, it wouldn’t have happened. You were curled into his chest and his arm was around you.

It was silent as the show played in the background. You felt your eyes begin to droop and you sighed, curling closer to him. He tightened his grip on you.

“Are you tired?” He asked you.

“Just a little.” You replied, your voice muffled by his shirt.

“Take a nap.” He offered. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.” You only could fight for a couple minutes before you allowed yourself to nod off into your nap. It was maybe an hour later that your mom came up and woke the both of you to tell you the food was ready.

You sat up first, Chanyeol only opening one of his eyes and groaning before following your lead. You knew that you had liked Chanyeol for a while, but now it was beginning to become more and more prominent. You really liked Chanyeol.

You had a feeling that that put you at a disadvantage. Sure, he’d told you that he liked you beforehand, but he didn’t seem very sure. You nearly groaned at the thought, but instead you walked down the stairs with Chanyeol close behind you.

He was as close to you as he could get through dinner, his eyes still drooping from his nap. He had small conversations with your mother. Mostly, it was quiet as the three of you ate what your mother prepared. You felt his fingers touch yours and you tensed up a little. You heard a chuckle leave his mouth and you relaxed.

He went as far as to intertwine your fingers together. You were surprised just how well your fingers fit with his.

“I have to run to the store.” Your mom said as she stood up. “You kids be good. Oh, (Y/N), your cousin’s visiting this weekend.” You got excited at her words - you and your cousin practically could’ve been sisters. You always loved when she visited, and it was rare since she began college.

Your mom left and you started the dishes, Chanyeol next to you and insistent on helping. You eventually gave up, only allowing him to dry the dishes. You were washing the last dish and he was waiting, not taking his eyes off of you.

“I…” He paused, turning away from you. “Nevermind.” You stopped washing the dish in your hands and raised your eyebrows at him.

“No, now you have to tell me.” You pouted.

“What would you do if I told you I liked you?” He blurted out, only giving you a few seconds to comprehend before he continued. “Hypothetically, that is.”

“Well, then I guess I’d hypothetically have to tell you the truth.” You shrugged, putting the dish down in the sink.

“You drive me crazy, you know that?” He whined. “I’m not supposed to have feelings and I don’t  _like_  them. But I like  _you_.” You smiled at his words, tilting your head to the side.

“Feelings are good.” You replied. “Everyone has them.”

“I - why - I just -” He cut himself off by pulling you close to him and kissed you softly. You gasped into his kiss before you returned it. You held onto his arms, melting into his touch before he pulled away.

“That was random.” You giggled.

“No, it wasn’t.” He replied. “I like you. Date me.”

“Date you?”

“Yes. Be my girlfriend.” His words were practically making your heart jump out of your chest.

“You really want that?” You frowned. When you realized your hands were still on his arms, you let him go.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want that.” He said, his humorous side seemingly nonexistent at the moment. “Tell me you’ll be my girlfriend.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” You nodded slowly. “I-I can do that.”

“Good.” He smiled, pulling you in to kiss you again.

* * *

The next day at school was different, to say the least. Chanyeol insisted on holding your hand throughout the hallways, and soon enough whispers were spreading around. Every time you walked by a group of girls they would practically scan you, a permanent scowl on their faces.

The two of you stopped in front of your first hour class. Your back was against some of the lockers and he was in front of you, hands on your hips. He leaned close to you to whisper into your ear.

“I’ll see you later.” He told you. “You’re coming to my place today, right?”

“Mhm.” You hummed in response. He moved away to peck your lips.

“I’ll see you in an hour.” He squeezed your hips gently before he walked off. You walked into your class and sat in your usual seat, ready to ignore Junmyeon and whatever he had to say about you or Chanyeol.

It was a work hour, so you had your phone on your desk, your headphones plugged in and your music distracting you from the annoying people in your class. Unfortunately for you, you’d sat behind Junmyeon the whole year.

When your music suddenly turned off you looked up to see what happened. Junmyeon had your phone in his hand, the disconnected headphones in the other. You groaned and grabbed your phone from him before you grabbed your headphones as well. You took them out and glared at him.

“Well don’t you look happy today.” He smirked at you. “So I heard you and Chanyeol are a thing now. He must really want to get into your pants. What’s so special about you?”

“Not sure.” You shrugged, continuing with the worksheet you’d gotten when class started. “Why don’t you ask Chan?”

“I think I know why.” He nodded, narrowing his eyes. “He wants in your pants but you’ve gotta trust him first.” He contemplated. “And virgins are always just  _better_. Tighter.” You attempted to ignore him, your grip on your pencil tightening.

He knew what he was doing and he knew damn well how to get a reaction out of you.

“C’mon, why Chanyeol? If you were really that desperate -”

“Good Lord, you don’t know how to shut up.” You groaned, rolling your eyes. “Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I  _like_  Chanyeol?” You frowned when he laughed.

“Sweetheart, there’s no  _liking_  a guy like Chanyeol. Really? And besides, you’ll see eventually. He’s using you to get off and then he’ll be done.” The humor in his voice started fading. “And you like me.”

“No I don’t, I don’t like you or your giant ego.” You scoffed.

“Just remember that I warned you. Don’t come crying to me when he fucks you over.” Junmyeon turned around after that. What was his sudden interest in you? After six years of not speaking, he was now trying to say that he was protecting you? That was enough to make you laugh.

You arrived at the class you shared with Chanyeol. You’d already had to deal with Junmyeon so you were stressed. You sat next to Chanyeol, who was talking with a couple boys that you recognized. There was Jongin, Sehun, and Yixing. You’d only met them briefly before.

You talked to them more than you ever had before. They were nice to you, even Sehun, who had a reputation of being cold. You actually enjoyed talking with them until the hour was over. You wouldn’t be able to see Chanyeol until the day was over and he seemed to have more of a problem with that than you did.

Once you got to Chanyeol’s place, you barely made it through the front door before he had you pushed against it. His lips worked against yours easily, waiting only a few seconds before he added his tongue.

He kissed you deeply, his body relaxing only when you kissed him back. You loved his lips on yours more than anything. He nipped on your bottom lip and you gasped, grabbing onto his arms. His hands found your wrists and he pinned them next to your head.

“Tell me to stop.” He whined against your lips.

“I don’t want to tell you to stop.” You mumbled back to him. His hands reached down to grab your thighs and lift you up, your legs wrapping around his waist on instinct. You kissed him again, feeling his hands playing with the shirt you wore.

“Fuck, you drive me crazy.” He told you. “I just want you to like it too -”

“Teach me how to get you off.” You basically commanded him. “I-I want to suck your dick.” He closed his eyes and groaned before quickly carrying you to his bedroom. He dropped you onto the bed, steadying you once he climbed on top.

“You really want that?” He asked, kissing your neck.

“Please, Chan.” You tangled your fingers in his hair.

“How could I ever say no to you?” He hummed, moving away from you to pull his shirt over his head. You followed his lead, pulling your shirt off. That left you in a black bra that you’d worn particularly for this occasion.

He stared at you, looking at your exposed skin as he began to palm himself through his jeans. You quickly reached for the button of them, helping him pull them down his abnormally long legs. You saw the bulge in his boxers and you were already intimidated. You’d never seen a dick in person and the fact that this was Chanyeol made it worse.

“Y-you don’t have to.” Chanyeol reminded you. “You can just use your hand…or I can use my hand, it’s okay.” However, you couldn’t help but notice how needy he was. He was probably throbbing and all you wanted to do was feel him.

“Well…what if I want to use my mouth?” You told him. He took a deep breath.

“Well, I mean, if that’s what you want.” His voice was strained. He let his head fall back against the headboard and that’s when you decided to straddle his lap. The breath caught in his throat and his hips bucked into yours.

“I’m gonna start now.” You told him. You scooted down on his legs until you were at a comfortable position. He moaned when you pulled his boxers down and you had to admit that it was doing things to you. You watched as his cock slapped against his stomach. He was bigger than you thought he’d be and you just wanted to touch him. His tip was red, nearly dripping with precum.

“You really don’t have to -  _fuck_.” His voice broke off into a whiny moan when you wrapped your fingers around him. You moved your hand on his cock slowly, exploring what you could do to him and what made him feel good. You played with his tip, spreading the precum around. You felt his body tense.

“Can I -?”

“You don’t have to ask.” His hands were gripping the sheets, his bottom lip in between his teeth. You nodded slowly before dipping your head down, flicking your tongue across his tip to taste him. He cursed under his breath.

You wrapped your lips around his tip, experimenting the different ways you could pleasure him. You took him further into your mouth, feeling him shift under you as he tried as hard as he could to control himself.

“C-can you take more?” He was breathless, fighting with his instincts.

You simply nodded, slipping him further into your mouth. Your eyes watered as he hit the back of your throat and you attempted to suppress your gag. You ran your tongue along his length and hollowed your cheeks. Moans were now slipping out of his mouth and you had a feeling he was close but you knew he would tell you when he was.

“Shit, I’m gonna cum.” The words alone were enough to soak your panties, Chanyeol’s raspy voice letting them dance through the air. “Stop, I’m gonna -” His hips thrusted up, hitting the back of your throat. You couldn’t help but gag, the tears springing to your eyes as you felt him spill down your throat.

You swallowed it, having no other choice really, and pulled yourself off of Chanyeol’s cock. His eyes were closed, his head thrown back against his headboard. He took a deep, shaky breath before he pounced on you, flipping you over on your back and pulling your pants and panties down in one pull.

“Your turn.” He smirked at you before dipping his head down and licking up your slit.

You bucked your hips into his face, a moan already escaping your lips. You felt him smirk against you as his tongue continued to slide up and down your core.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so wet. Is this from sucking me off?” He asked, the vibrations against your core driving you crazy. You whined in response, feeling his tongue tease your clit. He wasn’t wasting any time today; his fingers found their way to your entrance quickly and slid right inside you.

Your fingers tangled in his hair and he began pumping his fingers at an insane pace, making your toes curl with pleasure as you tugged on his hair. You pulled particularly hard and a low, sexy growl fell from his lips and against your core. You were close and even though you knew he was going to be able to tell, you warned him.

“Chan, I’m close.” You whined, pushing his head further into your core. He moaned against you, even going as far as to speed his fingers up. Your body arched and spasmed as you finished, a loud moan leaving your lips. He sat up, sucking his fingers into his mouth as he regained his breath.

“Consider us even.”

You spent the next few hours at Chanyeol’s, both of you calmed down after that and you managed to spend a good majority of the time there laughing and smiling over dumb things. You hated that the clock continued to count down until you went home. You didn’t want to go home and you didn’t want to leave Chanyeol.

Eventually, you had to go. Chanyeol drove you home, kissing you softly before he walked you up to your door. He pulled you close to him again and he kissed you a little less softly as you stumbled backwards. You smiled into his kiss before you returned it.

“I don’t want to go.” He mumbled. “Is your mom home?”

“Unfortunately.” You replied, feeling him pull you into a hug. “You can still come in.”

“I know.” He giggled. “I couldn’t have stayed anyway. I’m supposed to go somewhere with Yixing and Sehun.”

“Well then go.” You nudged him gently.

“I…don’t want to.” He shrugged.

“Go on. We can do something tomorrow. Go be with your friends.” You stood on the tips of your toes to kiss him before you started pushing him away from your door. “Go.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going.” He reluctantly let his fingertips fall from your arms and you waited outside until he drove off. You walked back inside and ran into your mom, nearly jumping into the air.

“Where were you with that boy?” She asked you, her arms crossed over her chest.

“That boy? Mom, you know Chanyeol. I was just hanging out with -”

“ _Where_?”

“We were at his house.” You frowned. “Mom, what’s going on?”

“Were his parents there?” You’d never seen your mom as mad as she was now.

“W-well,  _no_ , but I -”

“That’s enough.” Your mom said. “I don’t want you to see him anymore.” Your jaw dropped and you were stunned.

“Where is this coming from?” You asked her.

“That Kim boy told me what that boyfriend of yours is like. I don’t want someone like that for my daughter.” She told you. “I mean it. He’s not allowed here and you’re not allowed there.”

“And Junmyeon’s  _better_? He’s the same way! Chanyeol hasn’t even -”

“Don’t talk back to me.” Your mother snapped at you.

“Mom, I’m almost eighteen, you can’t stop me from seeing anybody.” You’d never quite heard your mother this  _aggressive_.

“I can’t believe you would do that to yourself. And so soon into a relationship -”

“What do you think I did with him?” You scoffed, letting your jaw drop.

“ _No more_.” Your mom pointed her finger at you. “He’s not allowed in this house.”

“But mom -”

“ _No_. I don’t trust him.” Your mom had the last words. She walked away from you, leaving you stunned as you processed what just happened. You were furious. Who did Junmyeon think he was, coming in to your house and telling your mother what Chanyeol had done in the past? What part of that was his business?

You stormed out of your house, not even bothering to knock on Junmyeon’s door as you invited yourself in. His parents were rarely there so you went right up to his room. Blinded by anger, you opened the door, only to recoil and quickly exit once again.

The image of Junmyeon naked and on top of someone would most likely never leave your mind now. For some reason, you were almost  _angry_. Were you really angry about what he told your mother or were you angry because he was with a girl? You knew how Junmyeon was, this shouldn’t have surprised you.

You regained your senses and ran back down the stairs, hoping that you could somehow get that out of your memory. You heard his bedroom door open but you just kept going. You almost made it to his front door when you felt him grab your wrist. You flinched and refused to look at him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” His voice was sharper than you’d ever heard before but you still refused to look at him.

“I was mad.” You attempted to jerk your wrist away from him, but his grip just tightened. You clenched your eyes shut and hoped he would let you go.

“Because I was protecting you?” He scoffed.

“For fucks sake!” You successfully pulled yourself away from him, suddenly not caring. “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t need to be protected? Why do you even  _care_? You haven’t for six years but as soon as I have a guy in the picture -”

“Is that what you came here for? To yell at me?” He asked. You took in his appearance. He’d slid a pair of sweatpants on and a t-shirt.

“I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.” You shook your head. “I’ll let you get back to whatever her name is -”

“Are you really - you’re fucking  _jealous_.” He scoffed, taking a step away from you.

“As if.” You retorted. “Why would I give a fuck about a girl who you’re going to forget by tomorrow anyway? Why would I want to be one of those girls?”

“You  _never_  would’ve been one of them.” He said it loudly, sharply, but it made your heart nearly stop beating in your chest. “There’s not many people I fucking care about in this world. Do you want to know why I tried to warn you? Because you’re one of those people.”

“You’ve got a fucked up way of showing it.” You shook your head. “Because you leave the people you care about behind. You let them wonder what they fucking did wrong. Fuck you, Junmyeon, you have some fucked up priorities.” You turned to leave again, but he grabbed you, pulling you close to him again.

Your eyes began to well with tears as you felt so small, pressed against his chest as he stared right at you. He sat like that for a second, but before you knew it, his lips were on yours. Maybe you kissed him back - and if you did, it was only for a second before you pushed him away.

“Get off of me.” You yelled at him, pushing hard at his chest. He stumbled backwards and his jaw dropped.

“Don’t -”

“Shut up.” You snapped at him. “Why don’t you ever just leave me  _alone_? Do you realize how much of a shitty person you are?” You took a deep breath before you continued. “Will you stop fucking leading me on like I’m a fucking toy? The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Leading you on?” He frowned, his face softening as he looked at you. You could’ve sworn that you saw his own tears welling in his eyes.

“That’s what you’ve been doing since we were kids, you dumbass!” You yelled at him, no longer holding back. “Fuck, I  _loved_  you. I was in love with you, it hurt so badly when you left but I stayed quiet because I wanted what was best for  _you_. Do you think about anyone other than yourself?”

“(Y/N) -”

“No. I’m done thinking about you. I’m done wishing for something that I can’t have because you’re an insensitive dick. I’m done.” You were about to turn away from him when you saw the first tear slip from his eye. “Don’t cry, your toy upstairs might actually think you have feelings.”

You left his house, slamming the door behind you.


	5. 5

Surprisingly, that got Junmyeon off of you. He left you alone. Even in the classes you shared with him, he sat there quietly and didn’t say a word. It almost scared you, what the hell was going on with him?

But you didn’t care. You wouldn’t let yourself care. Regardless of what your mother said, you continued to see Chanyeol, both in and out of school. You went to his house, saying you were going to a friend’s. It felt wrong to lie to your mother but at this point you had no choice.

She had to work late today, until almost nine at night so you invited Chanyeol over to your house. You went right from school to your house. You didn’t quite know how to pass time with Chanyeol, so at first the two of you just sat there.

“So, what do you want to do?” Chanyeol asked you. You shrugged, moving closer to him.

“Whatever you want to do.” You told him. You weren’t actually sure that you wanted to do what he wanted to do. Every time something sexual happened between the two of you, it went a little further. It made you nervous, especially with everything that Junmyeon had told you. You were weary of him.

“Let’s watch a movie or something.” He suggested. You nodded, able to comply with that. You stood from the couch to grab a DVD, settling for just about anything. He held you close to him as the movie played on. You encountered a jump scare and he laughed as you buried your head into his chest.

You gripped onto his shirt and clenched your eyes shut.

“It’s over now.” He laughed. “Shit, I love you.” He said it through his laughter but the words made you tense up. He must’ve noticed you tense because his laughter faded soon after that.

Neither of you spoke, the sounds of people in the movie shouting were being drowned out by your thoughts. You had yet to relax your body and at this point you knew what Chanyeol was thinking.

“I-I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have just -”

“No, it’s okay.” You shook your head. “I just wasn’t…expecting that.”

“I should go -”

“No you shouldn’t.” You frowned at him. “Do you really?”

“Love you?” He asked, raising his eyebrow. When you nodded, he gave a small smile. “I’m pretty sure that’s what this is.” Surprisingly, it was you who leaned in to kiss him. He sighed into it before kissing you back. His hand found the small of your back, already pressing your back against the couch.

“Here?” You nearly squeaked. “We’re going to do this on my couch?”

“What exactly do you think I planned on doing?” He raised his eyebrow, his breathing already abnormal.

“Take me upstairs.” You told him. He looked at you in confusion before he understood. He intertwined your fingers with his and he lead you towards your bedroom. Once you were up the stairs, he lifted you up so your legs wrapped around his waist and he gripped the fabric of your shirt.

He opened your door easily, although it slammed a bit harder against the wall than you would’ve liked. He kicked it closed behind him. With one hand on the small of your back, he struggled to lift your shirt over your head. You giggled and helped him before leaning down to kiss him again.

He set you down on your desk, pulling his own shirt over his head while he moved closer to you. He pulled you closer to the edge of the desk, his clothed bulge pressing against you. You put your hands all over him, unsure of where to put them. His hands found the clasp of your bra, panting as he whispered into your ear.

“Can I take it off?” His voice was deeper than usual, making you shiver. You nodded shyly and as soon it fell from your shoulders you felt your nerves sinking into your stomach

“Chan…” You trailed off as he began to kiss down your neck.

“Don’t worry.” He mumbled against your skin. “I’ll take care of you.” He lifted you again, bringing you over to your bed. No matter how much you wanted him, a part of this felt wrong.  _Why did it feel so wrong?_

Your door opened and reality crashed down upon you. Chanyeol was on top of you. You pulled your blanket over you and Chanyeol sat up and got off of you, both of you turning to face who you never would’ve expected.

Kim Junmyeon.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Chanyeol growled at him, standing from your bed.

“I could ask you the same damn thing, Park.” Junmyeon looked angry.

“She’s my girlfriend!” He rolled his eyes. “We were busy. Get out.”

“She doesn’t want you. She would’ve yelled at me by now if she did.” Junmyeon’s words made your heart sink in your stomach.

“Can both of you just stop for a minute so I can get dressed?” You shouted over them, both of them turning away from you. You kept your blanket on your chest as you grabbed your bra from the floor before grabbing your shirt as well. You didn’t like the idea of either of them just standing there but you turned away from them and let the blanket fall, sliding your clothing back on quickly.

You turned back around, crossing your arms over your chest as you cleared your throat.

“You can turn around now.” The two boys turned around, and you could easily tell how angry Junmyeon was. He didn’t have a right to be angry. You tried to avoid his eyes. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Saving you from this asshole.” Junmyeon aggressively gestured towards Chanyeol. “He’s been telling us his plans with you for weeks and I’ve been trying to warn your dumb ass but you’re not  _listening_  to me.” You saw the shift in Chanyeol’s posture.

“Why does it even matter so much to you?” The taller asked him.

“The girl you’re about to fuck over? She’s my best friend.” Even you had to laugh at that one. He frowned at you and you just shook your head.

“Fuck you, Junmyeon, you’re not my friend.” You turned towards Chanyeol. “What  _plans_  have you told these friends of yours?” He was silent and he looked away from you. You scoffed, rolling your eyes. You grabbed his shirt from the ground and threw it at him. “Get the fuck out.”

“Babe -”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” You snapped at him. “Get out.” Chanyeol turned around sending a glare at Junmyeon before shoving past his shoulder. Junmyeon barely moved, a look of annoyance crossing over his face.

“I couldn’t let him do that to you.” He shook his head slowly. “It’s not my right to intervene with your life, especially now. He just…he was using you and I couldn’t just let it happen.”

“What did he say?” You asked, almost terrified of the answer.

“He told us everything that’s happened. He told us his plan for today, he even told us his fucking escape plan, he has one for every girl he’s been with.” It’d be a lie to say that Junmyeon’s words didn’t completely crush your heart. You genuinely had fallen for Chanyeol and now, you knew the truth.

“I should’ve seen this coming.” You scoffed, shaking your head. You felt the tears well in your eyes but you refused to let them fall. At least, not in front of Junmyeon.

“You had no reason to think he had bad intentions. But you could’ve at least listened to me -”

“You do the same thing to girls, why would I believe you?”

“You don’t have to. But just know that the girls I’m with? They know I don’t want anything with them. They know it’s a one time thing. Chanyeol? He’s a dick. He makes people think he cares.”

* * *

Did that make Junmyeon a better person than Chanyeol? You found yourself thinking about that as you sat on your bed. That was all you thought about, even after your mother got home, during dinner, when you went back upstairs.

Did you  _like_  Junmyeon?

Something about that made your stomach twist. You were supposed to hate him but maybe he was right after all - maybe your feelings for him never went away. It was 7 PM when you decided you were going to go see him. Through your window you could see him sitting at his desk, the dim lamp the only thing that was lighting up his room. For some reason, going over there made you nervous.

You told your mom you were going next door and of course she had no problem with it, now you realize it wasn’t you she was worried about. She had good reason to be weary of Chanyeol. You knocked on his front door, not wanting to come in if you weren’t welcome. Things had changed - you weren’t here because you were mad.

It was time to make amends.

He opened the door and was almost taken aback by your presence. His wore his round glasses that he refused to take out of the house despite the fact that he desperately needed them. He was just as confused as you were for a second before he opened the door wider to let you in.

He led you up to his room. Sure, you’d seen it a lot, been  _in_  it a lot, but not in years. When you walked in, you couldn’t help but look around. It was oddly clean, the bright blue of the walls replaced with a simple beige color. The glow-in-the-dark stars that you’d gotten him a while ago - because of his fear of the darkness - were still stuck to the ceiling.

“It’s a little different.” He shrugged. “It’s been awhile since you’ve been in here.” He followed your eyes to the stars, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Jun…?” You waited for him to look at you before you continued. “Why?” He didn’t need any context. He knew exactly what you were asking him.

 _Why_  did he leave you?

 _Why_  did he ignore you?

 _Why_  did he break your heart?

 _Why_  did you still love him?

“I…I don’t know.” He shook his head, looking away from you. “I was selfish and I wasn’t thinking…it wasn’t fair. I’m sorry for what I did, and just know I’d take it back if I could. If I could redo it I’d be with you like we were all the time before. I miss spending time with you. I miss making you laugh and I just miss  _you_.”

“I lied to you.” You told him, feeling your stomach flip. “I-I told you that I didn’t…that I didn’t love you anymore. But honestly, even if you hate me, I still love you. Even if you want nothing to do with me, I’ll still be waiting here like a fool.”

* * *

After school the next day, you arrived home. You got yourself a glass of whatever juice it was that was in your fridge and before you could make it to your stairs, there was a knock at your door. You set your glass down on the counter and walked to the door, opening it.

This time it was Junmyeon at your door. It was safe to say that it was going to be awkward between the two of you, he knew your true feelings. Honestly, he looked beautiful. He wasn’t wearing anything special, hell, he hadn’t even styled his hair, but something about his blue jeans, his t-shirt and his leather jacket, hands shoved in the pockets, really made him seem beautiful.

“Can I come in?” He asked softly. You nodded and opened the door wider. He came in, you heard a small sigh escape his lips. Just seeing him was enough to make your heart hurt. You led him up to your room and you sat on the edge of your bed, waiting for whatever he had to say.

He sat next to you, fiddling with his fingers in his lap as he attempted to form his words. You refrained from looking at him but you couldn’t help it.

> _“I lied to you.” You told him, feeling your stomach flip. “I-I told you that I didn’t…that I didn’t love you anymore. But honestly, even if you hate me, I still love you. Even if you want nothing to do with me, I’ll still be waiting here like a fool.”_
> 
> _“(Y/N)…” He began, clearly unsure of what to say. “You…you shouldn’t love me.” You opened your mouth to say something, but you decided against it. He continued. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve…loved you since pretty much day one. But the thing is, I’m not good enough for you.” He sighed. “I never have been and I’m not, especially now. I’m sure you know why, but I’m not a good guy. I’ve used people, I’m not gonna lie and say I haven’t made someone think I’ve liked them before just to get in their pants - you’ve_ seen _me with someone before for fucks sake…I’m sorry. I can’t do that to you. I can’t be the one that hurts you.”_

Maybe your heart was beating, maybe it wasn’t, at this point, you didn’t know. The hurt that had been caused because of Chanyeol was overshadowed by this. It had  _always_  been Junmyeon, you knew that much.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” You told him, speaking quietly. “I understood.”

“That’s not why I’m here.” He replied soon after, only for the two of you to be doused in silence once again.

“Then why?” You asked.

“Because no matter how much I tell myself this is for both of us, that if I do this I’ll only hurt you, I can’t ignore what my heart tells me. I-I’ve already hurt you before and I don’t want to do it again.” He still wouldn’t look at you. Of course this felt like rejection, but was it?

“I don’t think you’ll hurt me.” You told him honestly. “Sure, you’re a dick sometimes but that doesn’t mean that I’ll get hurt. I’m not that same six year old girl that needs help with tying her shoes anymore, Jun.”

“I know.” He sighed. “I know, but I can’t help but just…want to protect you. In my eyes, you’ll always need my help. That’s selfish to think, maybe, but part of me hopes that’ll always be true.” His fingers stopped fidgeting and finally,  _finally_ , he looked at you. “And no matter what, a part of me will always love you.”

“Then do something about it.” You told him, thankfully not cowering under his gaze. His tongue wet his bottom lip before he took it in between his teeth. He was contemplating what you said and staring into your eyes with his brown ones that contained so much depth in them that you could’ve gotten lost.

So he did something about it. He leaned forward slowly, making the breath catch in your throat before his lips even touched yours. His hand went up to cup your cheek, his fingers soft and gentle against your skin. Everything between the two of you had changed so dramatically that you couldn’t help but get mesmerized by him.

With one of his hands on the small of your back, he laid you down gently on your bed. He was settled in between your legs, his warm eyes staring into yours as he waited for you to say something. You nodded your head and soon after his lips connected with your again.

The kiss was soft and sweet, much different than anything you’d ever received from Chanyeol. Junmyeon shifted above you, making his hips slide against yours. You let out a shaky whimper and you felt him freeze.

His lips were against yours again before he trailed his lips down to your neck, his tongue and his lips gently grazing against your skin. You took a deep breath and tilted your head to the side to give him better access.

“Can I take this off?” He whispered against your neck, tugging at the bottom of your shirt. You nodded timidly, and you knew he could tell. He paused to look at you. “Don’t be nervous…I’ll take care of you, okay?” You nodded again, this time more confidently. He gave you a small smile before he sat up, pulling your shirt over your head. His hands traced over your body, stopping at the cups of your bra.

He stopped to pull his own shirt over his head. It became clear to you what all the high school varsity sports had done for Junmyeon. He reached behind your back, unclasping your bra slowly, taking long enough so you could say no if you wanted to. Once it was off, his hands traced over your breasts. The way his fingers felt against your nipples made you shiver.

He kissed your lips quickly before he started trailing his lips down your body. He stopped at your breasts, his fingers gently playing with them before his lips wrapped around your nipple. You moaned as soon as his tongue touched it.

He pulled away to look up at you.

“Stop me if you don’t want me to go further, okay?” He whispered. You nodded and he ran his fingers over the skin of your stomach. “Don’t be scared, not of me. I’ve got you, I won’t let you go.” He popped open the button on your pants before making quick work of those and your panties. He kissed your thighs, the sensation making you want to to clench them shut.

“Jun, please.” You whimpered, wishing he would touch you where you needed him. You cursed under your breath when you could feel how close he was to you. His face was barely centimeters away from your core.

“Are you this wet for me?” He hummed, running his tongue up your core. “And you taste good.” Your hips bucked into his face and he grinned at you. “I’ll show you how you deserve to be treated.” Contrary to what you had become used to, Junmyeon’s tongue ran slowly and softly over your core.

You gripped onto his hair, small moans leaving your lips whenever his tongue would play with your clit. He gasped against you when you tugged on his hair. You didn’t even have time to apologize before he had you moaning again.

He brought his fingers up to your core, trailing around your entrance. He pushed one of his fingers inside you, make you buck your hips up, wishing he would give you more. After pumping one finger in and out of you a couple times, he complied, adding a second.

“Jun -”

“I know.” He replied, speeding his fingers up slightly and using his tongue against your clit. A breathy moan stretched from your lips and you bucked your hips up, feeling an undeniable build-up starting within you.

“I’m -” You cut yourself off with a loud moan, Junmyeon’s curled fingers hitting a spot inside of you that you didn’t even know existed. That was it for you, you cried out and felt a familiar yet stronger euphoria take you over.

He pulled his fingers out of you slowly, taking them into his mouth before he looked at you. The hand he hadn’t been using on you was still inside his pants, stroking himself as he looked at your body. The sight nearly made your jaw drop. You knew he was getting closer as his hand sped up. He threw his head back and moaned, clenching his eyes shut.

“Junmyeon, I want more of you.” You told him. His hand froze and he looked at you, clearly worked up.

“W-what do you mean?” He asked, pulling his hand out of his pants.

“I want all of you.” You sat up, moving closer to him and beginning to push his pants down. The bulge in his boxers made you nervous. Before you could get any more nervous than you already were, you pulled his boxers down to. You watched as his hard cock smacked against his stomach, you listened as he let out a moan.

“I-I don’t have a condom.” He said breathily. You wrapped your fingers around his member and gently jerked him off.

“I’m on the pill.” You kissed shoulder, trailing up to his neck and sucking hard enough to leave a mark. Within seconds, your back was against the mattress as he was over you, face just centimeters away from yours and his member close to your core.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked.

“Completely.” You nodded.

“If it hurts, just hold on to me, okay? It’ll only hurt for a couple seconds.” He informed you. You nodded, fading into his kiss until you felt his member press against your entrance. He just shook his head. “Focus on kissing.” He whispered against your lips. You nodded, kissing him back. He began to slide into you slowly. He stopped halfway, his breathing heavy as he tried to kiss you. The sting made your eyes clench shut and your nails dig into his shoulders.

He kissed you, his breathing affecting the way his lips moved against yours. Your body was shaking at this point, but the pain was fading.

“More.” You whispered against his lips, feeling him slip the rest of the way inside you. There were high pitched whimpers escaping with every pant of breath you let out. The way you felt began to change. He was long and thick inside you, as you got used to him you started to feel pleasure.

What you felt was indescribable. You let out a long, quiet moan once the pain completely faded from your body. He kissed your neck, beginning to move his hips. The friction against your walls made your body shudder beneath his.

“Shit, you’re so tight.” He whined, still thrusting slowly inside you. “I’ve wanted this for so long.” You gasped when his hips accidently bucked against yours, but he managed to hit that spot again that had your body curling into his.

There wasn’t any spoken words since it was easy to tell how close you were. He kissed you gently, picking up his thrusts a bit so he could throw you over the edge. Your high hit you hard, harder than it ever had before as he thrusted a couple more times before he spilled inside you.

Both of you just laid there, completely in shock about what just happened. He pulled out of you once he began to soften, and you accidentally whined at the emptiness. He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your cheek.

“I love you.” He whispered to you. “I really fucking love you.”

“I love you too.” You told him. He laid on the bed next to you, pulling the covers over the two of you. You let him pull you close to him and he nuzzled into your hair.

“Take a nap. I’ll be here.” He reassured you. You nodded, curling into his body and relaxing.


	6. Part 6

Despite what everyone said about it, you woke up and you didn’t feel different. You noticed the lack of warmth next to you. You figured that he had just gotten up to go to the bathroom or something, so you got up to get your clothes.

Panic started to set in when you noticed his clothes were gone. You shook your head, getting away from the thought that he left you. He promised he wasn’t using you. Was a promise always enough?

You finished getting dressed and you looked around your room. You saw a folded piece of paper on your nightstand and you sighed in relief. Maybe something just came up. You opened it and began to read it.

> _(Y/N),_
> 
> _I’m sorry I left even though I said I wouldn’t. I guess I don’t really have an excuse to explain why I’m leaving. I love you, I hope you understand that, but I really can’t do this to you. I can’t be the one that hurts you. This is ridiculous. I’ve already hurt you. I know once you read this you’ll probably never talk to me again and…if that’s what you want, so be it. I didn’t do this to use you and I guess I should’ve stopped myself ahead of time. It’s hard to control yourself when you’ve wanted someone for so long and that’s not an excuse. I don’t even know what to say, but if I stay with you I know I’ll end up hurting you and that is the last thing I want to do._
> 
> _Goodbye,_
> 
> _Junmyeon_

Your heart broke for the second time within two days. This time, you  _did_  cry. You were so  _angry_ , you loved Junmyeon and he told you he loved you. You had genuinely believed he loved you. You felt betrayed, he didn’t even stay to talk about it like an adult. He ran.

So that was it. You didn’t chase after him. You wouldn’t be like every other girl he’d ever been with. You would let yourself be sad in private, but you had to pretend like nothing was wrong. You wouldn’t give him the upper hand. He’d already gotten that before and taken advantage of it.

Even your mother could tell there was something off with you. You just shook her off and told her you were fine, because you had to be. You went to school the next day, dreading seeing him. It was funny, really, you told yourself you would hold back your emotions but as soon as you saw him smiling and laughing in class, your heart broke all over again. Fresh tears sprung into your eyes and you sighed.

You sat in your normal seat, looking down at your papers instead of the presence of  _him_  in front of you. You tried to hard to ignore him, to ignore how fast your heart was beating just at the sight of him.

It was different than the years you didn’t talk to him. Now, he knew you loved him…but somehow, he was still able to leave. A tear fell down your cheek and onto your paper and you cursed under your breath, wiping the wetness from your skin before you couldn’t take it anymore. You got up and just left the room, heading straight for the exit. You were going home.

After you left, you couldn’t help the tears that fell down your cheeks. How could he be perfectly okay? Didn’t he love you?

You knew it was him when you felt fingers wrapping around your wrist. You were relieved but also angry. How was he going to leave you and then pretend he cared? He pulled you into his chest, even though you fought him every step of the way.

“Haven’t you done enough?” Maybe you yelled a bit too loud, but that made him look at you. Your eyes blurred with tears as you smacked at his chest, although there was no strength behind your attack. “I don’t need you, just leave me alone -”

“The whole school’s going to know what happened if you don’t -”

“ _Good_.” You heard doors opening, but you didn’t care. “They’ll know that you’re just a fucking coward. They’ll know that you can fuck around but once real feelings come into play you get  _scared_. You get scared like a little boy and you  _run_  -”

“ _Enough_.” He shouted.

“Or what, Jun, what else could you  _possibly_  want from me?”

“I did all of this for  _you_!” He yelled back. “I finally wanted to be a good guy -”

“Bullshit.” You snapped at him. “If you ever even knew  _anything_  about me, you should know that I never fucking needed your protection.” You turned back around, glaring at the people who had began to line up together in the hallways. The attention you were receiving was making your throat dry as you wiped away the tears that had leaked from your eyes.

* * *

You got home but it wasn’t soon after that that Junmyeon’s car pulled into the driveway next door. You walked up to your room, closing the door behind you and sighing. You sat on your bed, utterly worn out from everything that happened today.

Your phone went off and you sighed, looking to see who it was.

> **[12:35 PM] Chanyeol:**  So I heard what happened today
> 
> **[12:35 PM] Chanyeol:**  And I thought I should let you know the truth
> 
> **[12:35 PM] Chanyeol:**  Junmyeon’s in love with you. Everything that I’ve done up until this point was to get the both of you to realize that. Maybe it was a bad decision because I know I hurt you, but I genuinely did end up liking you.
> 
> **[12:36 PM] Chanyeol:**  And I’ve never seen that kid as crushed as he is now. I don’t know what’s going on between you two for sure, but I’ve got an idea. Don’t let him pull any bullshit with you. He loves you and it’s the most obvious thing
> 
> **[12:37 PM] Chanyeol:**  I like you a lot but I know I’d never be anything compared to what Junmyeon is to you. Go to him. He’s waiting for you.

You sighed, contemplating what you should do. Could you really just show up there again? You swallowed your pride, that was the only way you were going to be able to do this. He had your heart and it wasn’t going anywhere else anytime soon.

So you went. You went next door and you didn’t bother knocking when you went in. You walked up to his room, finding that his door was already open. You leaned against the frame and watched Junmyeon at his desk. He was writing something, but quickly ripped the piece out of his notebook and threw it into the trashcan. He groaned and leaned back against his chair, closing his eyes and running his fingers through his hair.

You walked further into his room and he opened his eyes, looking at you. You could see the sorrow that plagued him at the sight of you. You wished you could take his sadness away but he just wouldn’t let you.

“Can this just be done?” You asked him quietly. “Can you just stop worrying?”

“I’m just scared. You were right. I’m a coward and I have  _no_  idea what I’m doing with my life but the only thing that will make those things okay is if I have you. I really wasn’t using you, but I  _do_  love you. I love you so much that it hurts to be away from you.” He stood up and walked over to you, his height making you look up to look into his eyes.

“Then don’t be away from me.” You shrugged. “It’s always been you, Jun.” His lips were against yours and his hands were on your hips, holding you against him firmly.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I’m sorry that I left and I’m sorry I still don’t have an explanation for it.”

You kissed him this time, standing on the tips of your toes to reach his lips. You felt his tongue slide across your bottom lip and you gasped quietly, allowing his tongue in your mouth. You’d never had an appeal for using tongue while kissing, that was, until Junmyeon. Now you loved it. Now you wanted everything he had to give you.

You slid your hands under his shirt, feeling the heat in your bones as Junmyeon helped you take it off of him. You pulled your own shirt off and quickly reconnected your lips with Junmyeon’s. His hands slid over your skin and you almost moaned at his touch.

You kissed his neck and with a burst of courage, you began to grind your hips against his. The wetness had begun to form in your panties and you wanted him. He whined quietly into your ear, nibbling on the lobe gently.

“It’ll feel better this time.” He whispered to you, walking you towards his bed. You nodded in response, already attempting to push your pants and panties down your legs. As you did that, you watched as his unbuttoned his jeans.

He kicked them away and you saw the bulge in his boxers. You ran your hand over the bulge, watching as he reacted to your touch. You pushed the fabric down and Junmyeon had your back on the bed before you could even touch his member.

Your bra came off last, getting thrown somewhere across the room. His lips attached around your nipple, making you whine quietly. You tangled your fingers in his hair.

“I-I want you inside me.” You blushed at the sentence. Junmyeon looked up at you.

“Is that so, baby?” He hummed. “Maybe I should give you what you want, yeah?” You nodded eagerly and you watched as he shifted himself around. You felt him prodding against your entrance. You lifted your hips up, begging him to slide inside you.

Once he did, you realized how right he was. This time, the stretch didn’t sting as it had the day before, but now all it did was make you moan. You wanted him. You wanted him all the damn time and the way he filled you stretched you to your limits.

“Don’t wait.” You told him. “Move.” He moved alright. He slid his hips so fluidly and easily that the pleasure was almost overwhelming. One second he was deep inside you and the next his tip barely pressed against your entrance.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He kissed you roughly before moving down to kiss your neck. You gasped when his teeth grazed your skin and he sucked a mark there. You bucked your hips up and cried out.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and you felt him go deeper inside of you. You moaned loudly when he hit your g-spot hard. You couldn’t even warn him before your body exploded into euphoria. You held onto him tightly and he kissed you to help you ride through your orgasm while trying to reach his own.

He cursed under his breath and you felt him spill inside you. Your nails still dug into his shoulders as the two of you came down from your highs. You held tightly onto him and he kissed your neck softly before he slid out of you slowly.

“That’s not gonna get old.” He breathed, making you laugh quietly while trying to regain your breath. “Go on a date with me.”

“We’ve gone a little past the first date, Jun.” You giggled, looking into his eyes.

“Yeah, I know, I just want to do this right.” He rolled his eyes. “Let me do it right.”

“Oh, you’re doing it right.” You scoffed, watching as he smirked.

“You know, I always loved you and then we started growing up and you went from cute to hot and I couldn’t even handle it.” He laughed. “Do you know how easy it is for a guy to pop a boner when he’s going through puberty? And then you were always so close to me and you always smelled good and  _ugh_.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“Yeah, thirteen year old Junmyeon was going to tell you that you gave him boners.” He rolled his eyes. He moved off of you, laying on his bed next to you. He brought his blankets up and pulled you to him. “I’ve got you now. I’m not letting you go.”

“You don’t have to.” You told him. Your faces were close together, your noses almost touching as he played with your hair.

“Never.”

* * *

There was something different about the way school worked. Junmyeon held your hand and he often brought you to sit with him at lunch. He held your hand under the lunch table and every time he wasn’t talking to his friends he was looking at you.

It was in the hallway when things decided to escalate. Chanyeol must’ve been a bit angry with Junmyeon, because when he walked past the two of you, he made sure to hit Junmyeon. Before you could register anything, Junmyeon had the taller boy up against the lockers.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Junmyeon growled at him.

“My problem?” He scoffed. “How do you get everything fucking handed to you? You ignored the girl for six years and you  _still_  got her -”

“Handed to me?” Junmyeon scoffed. “Don’t be a little bitch because she doesn’t want you.” You walked over to them, pulling on Junmyeon’s arm.

“Junmyeon, let’s just go, people are staring.”

“This is  _bullshit_.” Junmyeon growled. “I don’t care if people are looking.”

“If she didn’t let me in her pants, what makes you think she’ll let you?” Chanyeol pushed at him. You frowned at him, backing away from the two of them.

“Shut the fuck up.” Junmyeon shoved him harder against the lockers and this time you tugged harder on his arm. You watched as the smirk spread across Chanyeol’s face. You knew he was going to say something stupid, so you smacked Junmyeon’s arm.

“Would you look at that…” He chuckled. “You’ve been in her pants? Already?” You gasped when Junmyeon threw Chanyeol to the floor. He was going to advance towards him but you grabbed him again.

“God  _damn_  it, Jun, you’re gonna get in trouble again. Let’s just go.” This time he listened to you, letting you lead him away as the people around you stared with their jaws dropped. Just a couple months ago, the two had been good friends.

“I’m sorry.” Junmyeon sighed. “He pisses me off.” You stopped walked and grabbed his arm, making him look at you.

“I know, but just ignore him. It’ll be best for both of us if you do that.”


	7. Final

Junmyeon began to come over once again, the first time confused your mom a bit but she’d gotten used to it. Both of your families were happy the two of you were talking again. They kept saying how they always knew the two of you would become a couple.

As graduation approached, the two of you often discussed your plans. Since you were both deciding to stay close to home, the relationship would be easier than if one of you moved away.

It was one of the nights that you were at his house that you found it. Ever since he was little, he dreamed of going to a university. It was far away; he would’ve had to leave Korea for California. An envelope sat on his desk. You were curious and you were sure he wouldn’t mind, so you looked at it.

Your jaw dropped when you opened it. He got accepted. The door opened as you read it, and you looked up to see Junmyeon standing there.

“You weren’t supposed to see that.” He sighed. “I forgot I left it there.”

“Junmyeon, you’re going, right?”

“I…” He bit down on his bottom lip. “I wasn’t planning to, no.”

“What?” You were taken aback. He’d dreamed about this college. “Jun, this is what you’ve wanted -”

“Maybe when I was younger, yeah, but now I’ve realized that things…aren’t about what college I want to go to. Life is more than just college.” He walked closer to you, lightly pulling the papers from your hands and placing them back on his desk. “And I have more of a reason to stay.”

“You can’t stay for me, Jun, that’s not…” You trailed off and he leaned down to kiss you.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m happy here, with you.” He told you, his lips close to yours before he finally closed the distance and kissed you. “I’ve got you and that’s all I’ve needed.”

You felt bad because you were the reason he was staying. Sure, he would have to go across the world, but it was something he dreamed about. Could you really let him do this?

Graduation loomed closer and closer, and with every passing second you thought of Junmyeon and how he was giving things up for you. You had no choice, really. After the graduation ceremony was over, you ended up back at his house like you always did. You were sure you could convince him to go to California…and you were scared. Looking at this house would never be the same.

“Jun…” You looked at him, playing with the jacket of the suit that he wore to graduation. “I want…I want you to think about the opportunities you’re missing -”

“(Y/N), I don’t want to go anymore, I promise.”

“I need you to go.” You couldn’t talk over a whisper. “I don’t want to be the reason you didn’t go. If I hold you back now, that’s going to make you hate me. I love you too much to let you miss this opportunity.” He furrowed his eyebrows slightly as he looked at you.

“I could never hate you.”

“I’m telling you right now that if you don’t go…” You paused. “Jun…I love you, you know I do, but I can’t let you do this for me. I-I think we should break up…for now.” You saw the hurt and shock in Junmyeon’s eyes, but you were doing this for him.

“N-no, you can’t just do that.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “We finally have each other and you want us to -”

“Don’t think I  _want_  this, Junmyeon. I don’t want to break up and I don’t want you to go but this is for  _you_. This is about  _you_ , not  _us_. We can wait. We’ve got so much time.” You reached up and cupped his cheek, smiling at him. “Don’t let me hold you back.”

He looked at you, his eyes wide with worry, eyebrows furrowed. You ran your fingers through his hair before you kissed him. There was so much hidden within the kiss that both of you were terrified to end it. Neither one of you wanted to break the kiss.

When he pulled away from you, he rested his forehead against yours and looked into your eyes. You tried to smile at him but you couldn’t. Your heart was breaking.

“We still have time, right? Before college starts.” His voice was filled with the hope you knew you had to crush.

“Jun…we can’t. I’m going to go now and…that’ll be it. For now.” You moved away from him, unable to look at him as you reached the door. You paused, knowing you should at least say  _something_ , but you couldn’t. Not to him. Not right now.

You left.

You had no choice. If he stayed, he’d end up hating you, you were sure of it. You weren’t going to be the one who held him back from his dreams.

When you got home, you didn’t even answer your mother as she tried to talk to you, you just went upstairs and into your room, locking the door behind you. However, this time, you made sure to close the curtains.

Soon enough, you watched as Junmyeon prepared to leave. He looked okay, at least better than you did. The summer seemed overly long with Junmyeon’s departure lingering closer. You didn’t want him to leave and he didn’t want to go, but both of you knew he had to.

Your mom attempted to make things easier for you, but it just wasn’t working. Of course you missed him, of course you wished you could see him one more time. You decided that if you went back, neither of you would be going anywhere. You had to stay away for his sake.

It was the night before he left that he showed up at your door. You took a deep breath before you let him inside the house. You attempted to avoid his gaze but it was inevitable. It was late - later than he should be going  _anywhere_  when he had a flight at eight in the morning. His eyes screamed the sadness that both of you felt but neither could verbalize.

“Tell me I shouldn’t leave.” That was the only thing he said to you.

“I-I can’t do that, Jun.” You whispered. “I have some of your stuff for you…like clothes and stuff.” You cleared your throat, attempting to walk past him. He grabbed your arm and pulled you close to him, your lips connecting with his before you could even process anything else.

You missed him so much that you couldn’t even protest. You couldn’t even push him away like you should’ve. You gripped onto the sleeves of his jacket, clenching your eyes shut in hopes that you wouldn’t have to let him go.

“I miss you.” He sighed against your lips, still gripping tightly onto one of your wrists.

“You can’t.” You attempted to move away from him.

“Sure I can.” He shrugged, letting go of your wrist. “If I wasn’t allowed to, you wouldn’t have let me in and you wouldn’t have kissed me back.”

“You can’t  _do_  that, Jun.” You moved away from him, already feeling the tears form in your eyes. “You can’t do this to me, you know that you have to go.” You turned your back to him.

“Don’t turn away from me.” His voice was stern. “I’m not leaving without saying goodbye to you. Do you really think I would do that?”

“I was hoping you would.” You shrugged, turning back around to face him. “I don’t know what you want from me, Jun, but I can’t hold you back like this.”

“You drive me crazy, you know that? I can’t seem to concentrate on anything except for you and I can’t just  _leave_.” He ran his fingers through his hair and you could see the desperation on his face. “No matter how badly you want this to work, I’m not going to be able to forget you. Not after all of this.”

“Then when you’re done, come back. I’ll still be here. I’ll still be living the life that you were in.” You felt the tears form in your eyes and you tried to blink them away. “Junmyeon, I love you, but you’re not going to hear me say that I don’t want you to go.”

“So this is it?” His voice was soft, wavering as his own eyes welled with tears.

“That’s what it seems like.”

“Can I kiss you?” The lack of space between the two of you made you want to say yes. You wanted his lips against yours.

“No.” You went against your heart and followed what your mind told you. “You should go.”

“I should but I’m not.” He shook his head. “I’m not letting go of you.”

“You have to.”

“You can’t tell me that you want me to go. If you honestly want me to leave you, look into my eyes and tell me that. If you can do that, I’ll go.” He was right, you probably wouldn’t be able to do that. You struggled to look into his eyes, the shine from the water glistening in what was next to no lighting at all.

“Damn it, Kim Junmyeon, why are you putting this on me?” Before you could break down, he grabbed you and pulled you close to him, his soft lips pressing against yours. You melted into his touch, forgetting everything that was going wrong for the two of you.

You sighed against his lips and he ran his fingers through your hair. You gripped his shirt, the fabric wrinkling under your fingertips. He lifted you easily, your legs wrapping around his waist as you let him kiss you.

“This is a bad idea.” You told him as he began to carry you to your room.

“Then stop me.” He whispered, but you were powerless to Kim Junmyeon. You didn’t say anything. Soon enough, your back was pressed against the mattress and Junmyeon found himself in between your legs again.

He kissed you softly before trailing down to your neck. You let out a heavy, shuddering breath as you clenched your eyes closed. This would be the last time you saw Junmyeon in years.

“You’re beautiful.” He hummed against your skin before pulling your shirt over your head. His eyes traveled over your bare breasts, his eyes becoming darker with every second he looked at you. His fingers traced over your nipples before he took one in his mouth. A quiet moan left your lips and you instinctively tangled your fingers in his hair.

When he pulled away, a trail of saliva followed his lips and you took a deep breath. He moved down your body until he could pull your shorts and panties off. He looked up and caught your eyes once more.

His tongue flattened against your core and you gasped. He licked up before stopping to take your clit into his mouth. His tongue moved slowly against your folds as he collected your wetness.

“J-Jun, I want you.” You whispered.

“You’ve got me, love.” He replied before returning his attention back to your clit. His fingers teased your entrance, making the breath catch in your throat. Just as soon as he was there, he was gone and he was pulling his shirt over his head.

He stared right into his eyes as he worked on his own pants. He pulled them down quickly, neither of you having to tell the other how much you wanted it. You wanted him to hurry, to fill you up, but at the same time there was a sweetness to this.

This was his goodbye.

He slid inside of you slowly and your back almost arched off of your bed. The initial moment of feeling him push in was the best. You gripped his shoulders and once he was fully inside you, he looked into your eyes, the pure adoration and love for you was evident. You moved your hands to cup his cheeks and you pulled him in to kiss you.

You gasped against his lips when he started thrusting, taking his time and making sure you felt good. The way you were holding on to him told him just how much you’d needed this. He furrowed his eyebrows as he moaned lowly, sending a chill down your spine and more pure need to your core.

Without much thought, you wrapped your legs around his waist and he slid deeper inside you. Over the time you’d been together, he memorized where your g-spot was and always went right for it. You whined, feeling the heat building up steadily and fast.

His hand traveled in between the two of you and he began to rub slow, precise circles on your clit. You tightened around him and dug your nails into his shoulders, feeling his body shudder as you finished on him. It was barely moments later that he spilled inside you.

Both of you panted while trying to regain your breath, you were still holding on to him tightly. You didn’t want him to go. There was no way you would’ve wanted him to leave you. He pulled out of you and you felt the tears welling in your eyes.

“Don’t cry.” He whispered, pulling you close to him. “You’ll make me cry.”

“I love you, Junmyeon.” You whispered to him, still unable to look at him.

“I love you too…you know I do.” His fingers brushed your hair behind your ear. “Just…sleep, okay?”

You didn’t ask why, you didn’t ask if he was staying because you knew the answer. You knew that when you woke up in the morning, Kim Junmyeon would be gone.

* * *

The first few days were relatively easy. It was a week later that it hit you. You wouldn’t see Junmyeon for a long time, how long you weren’t quite sure yet. By the time you did, however, you were sure he would’ve found someone else, someone that was worth his time more so than you.

Days faded into weeks, weeks faded into months…and then a year passed. Your heart was healing at a steady pace and you had even begun attempting to see other people. You heard from your mom that Junmyeon had been back in town a few times since he left. It left a gaping hole in your heart that he hadn’t even bothered to come see you, but you let it go. You had to forget, you couldn’t be stuck on him when he was halfway across the world.

No, you weren’t with Junmyeon for long, but the love had burned like fire in the two of you years before. You had learned to deal with people’s questions and just over seven months after his departure, you stopped crying. There was no point in it anymore. You pushed him to leave and that’s exactly what he did.

Even a year later, his words easily flowed through your memories and reminded you just how much  _fun_  it was to be around Junmyeon. Everything about him was amazing and you’d pushed him away. However, now he was living the dream he had when he was little and that gave you closure.

It was approximately seven years, one hundred seventy-two days, and eight hours before you finally saw him again. It was casual, to say the least. It wasn’t awkward like you expected it to be, but it wasn’t quite the same either. Being nearly twenty-five, you had a lot that happened in the time that Junmyeon was gone. It was almost ten months ago that you’d gotten out of a two year long relationship. He was another you’d thought might be it for you. Two years passed by and it was like each day got longer and longer.

You no longer lived in that house with your mother, you’d gotten your own apartment. You had to, considering that just nine months after Junmyeon’s departure, another person had joined your family. Your mother attempted to help you however she could, but it was stressful for both of you. Now, you’d graduated college and you were in a steady place, as was your daughter. She was in the second grade and enjoyed every second of it.

Your mother encouraged you to tell Junmyeon of what happened, but you refused. He was off in America, living the dream he’d had since he was a little boy. You stubbornly told your mother that you were going to support your daughter on your own. Her name was Hyemi and she had slowly became your world. She made dating harder, but eventually you’d found someone.

The first lasted a year, until he decided he didn’t want to be some replacement for Hyemi’s father. He insisted that you were still in love with him and that you should wait to make someone else fall for you until that was resolved.

The second lasted for two years, but life with him was just  _boring_. Both of you realized that a little too late. Hyemi was effected by the people in her life as well, she had even asked you so many times where your exes were and if they were coming back.

You hadn’t meant to run into him a Walmart, but apparently it was your destiny. He called out to you first, and as soon as you looked at him, all the emotions swarmed your heart again. Something inside you told you to run. Thankfully, your seven year old daughter was at your mother’s house.

“It’s been so long.” He gave you a smile but all you could do was sit there in shock. What were you supposed to say to him? He ran his fingers through his hair. “I-I went to your mom’s place but she wouldn’t tell me where you were.”

“I think that was for the best.” You nodded, still attempting to process the situation. You could barely keep eye contact with him - you’d had his child, who was running around at your mother’s house, waiting for you to come pick her up.

“Do you think we could go somewhere and catch up a little?” He asked you.

“R-right now?” You looked up at him, alarmed. He laughed, and until then, you hadn’t realized how much you’d missed your best friend.

“Well, if that’s okay.” He shrugged. “If not, I’d understand.” He hadn’t changed much from when he left, you could tell that much. The only thing that was different was his style - he wore a purple sweater that looked really soft.

“Can we meet up later?” You gave him a small smile. “I’ve just gotta take care of something.”

“Of what?”  _Your child._

“My friend needed me to pick something up for her, so I’d have to drop this stuff off.” You told him.

“Is your number the same?” He asked.

“Oh, no it’s not.” You held out your hand for his phone and he smiled before handing it to you. You quickly, unable to really process what you were doing, added your contact information. Soon enough, the two of you went your separate ways and you could breathe again. You didn’t know he would still be able to have such an effect over you.

You arrived at your mother’s place and as soon as you walked in your mother knew something was wrong. Hyemi was eating her lunch in the kitchen and your mother just raised her eyebrow at you.

“He’s back, mom.” You groaned. “And he wants to catch up later.”

“Well, that’s good, then.” Your mother nodded, much to your dismay. “It’s about time he knew of his seven year old child.”

“Mom, don’t do that.” You shook your head. “I can’t just…lay that on him. I’m not even sure that I want him to know.”

“It’s not that hard to figure out who you were with seven years ago.” She rolled her eyes at you. “Besides, it’s not about you anymore. Hyemi deserves a father just as much as he deserves to know he has a daughter.”

* * *

You didn’t know what to wear to see Junmyeon. You hadn’t been this conflicted in a long, long time. You decided on just some casual clothing and you groaned when your phone vibrated against your nightstand. You looked at it, not used to seeing Junmyeon’s old contact name flash on the screen. You’d switched every number from your old phone to your new one.

You smiled when you saw the heart emojis that an eighteen year old you had put in his contact name. It was a bittersweet memory. The two of you rarely spoke over the phone or texted because you lived right next to each other. Your smile fell as you remembered how easy the two of you had it.

You snapped out of it and walked outside. You hesitated to get into Junmyeon’s car but you did it anyway. He smiled at you and when he began to drive you felt more nervous. You had to tell him about your daughter. Would he believe you if you told him that she was his? He didn’t have a reason not to.

You ended up at a small cafe that the two of you had gone to a multitude of times when you were still together. You sat across from him as you always would and he got you the coffee you always used to get that you coincidentally still loved.

“How’ve you been?” He asked you. You inhaled deeply while you thought about it.

“I’ve been…well.” You shrugged. “You?”

“Could be better.” He replied shortly. This wasn’t how you wanted your reunion with him to go.

“How was California?” You asked him. You instantly saw his eyes light up. He told you of his magnificent adventures and the friends he made and how much fun he had. At least your efforts hadn’t gone to waste.

“You would’ve loved it.” He told you, and his smile began to fade. “You really would’ve.”

The silence was deafening to you as you waited for him to say something else, you felt his eyes on you as you stared down into your coffee. The same question you’d asked him all that time ago was on the tip of your tongue.

“Why didn’t you come see me?” You looked at him after clearing your throat. He was stunned for a moment, looking for his answer. You continued. “I mean, I saw you. I’m sure you saw me but you didn’t even smile or wave. It was like whatever happened between us had disappeared.”

“It hurt to look at you.” He told you honestly. “I got back and I was so excited that I would be able to see you and then…I just…what if you didn’t  _want_  to see me? What if I burned every last bridge by leaving that night?”

“Of course I wanted to see you.” You told him. “I’m the one who told you to leave, you know, I wanted you to go to California and live out that dream you’d had since you were a little boy, and look at you now. You did it.”

“I think you’re forgetting what I always told you, (Y/N).” He started softly, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at you. “Long before I ever came up with the idea of California, I always said that my dream was to go somewhere with  _you_. For you to always be by my side.” He didn’t mean to hurt you, at least you didn’t think, but that felt like a bullet straight to your heart.

“Jun…I should go.” You cleared your throat and looked away from the man in front of you.

“It doesn’t have to be like this.” He attempted. “We can try again -”

“You’ve been gone for seven years, Junmyeon.” You hadn’t meant to sound cold, but if that’s what it took, so be it. “You can’t just come back after severing things off years ago. I get that I ended it, and I pushed you to leave but I did that for you. Nothing was stopping you from coming to say hi, or acknowledging me.”

“That’s not it.” He said, making you look up at him.

“What do you mean?” That caught your attention. Maybe he was right, but it still hurt that he hadn’t stopped by.

“What else happened while I was gone?”

“Junmyeon, that’s really none of your business.” You shook your head.

“I didn’t even consider that you might be seeing someone right now.” His words made the air stick in your throat, and you didn’t know why.

“No, that’s not it. Not since November.” You shrugged. “I really think I should go home.” You stood up and turned towards the door but he stood up just as fast as you had.

“Wait,” He grabbed your wrist. “One chance, that’s all I want.” You let out an exasperated sigh, turning to look at him.

“Junmyeon, I  _can’t_  wait. I’ve got a child at home that I’ve really got to look after.” You saw the shock on his face.

“You have - how old is she?”

“I really don’t want to do this right now, can you please just take me back to my apartment please?” You were terrified now. He was so close to finding out the truth. The very truth you’d worked hard to keep a secret from not only Junmyeon but  _everyone_  for the past seven years.

“Y-yeah, alright. Let’s go.” He walked past you towards his car. Was he upset because you didn’t answer his question or that you’d had a child? Would he feel like that if he found out that Hyemi was his?

The drive to your apartment was silent. When you pulled up, it was at the same time your mother decided to bring Hyemi to your building. You cursed under your breath and quickly got out of Junmyeon’s car, hoping he would just drive off. Instead he turned off the car and stepped out with you.

“Jun-”

“Mommy!” The voice of the seven year old girl reached your ears and you looked at her with a smile. She ran up to you and hugged you and you could see the look on Junmyeon’s face. He was absolutely blown away and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.

“Hyemi, this is Junmyeon.” You said through gritted teeth. You looked at your mom and she just gave you a thumbs up before driving off.

“Is Junmyeon staying for a while, mommy?” The small girl asked you.

“Oh, um -” Both you and Junmyeon said at the same time.

“Is he my daddy?” She asked innocently, tilting her head. The breath caught in your throat and your mouth clamped shut. You had no idea what to say or how to say it, you’d be lying to your own daughter if you told her no.

“I just remembered, Hyemi, we’ve got a doctor’s appointment.” You said quickly, you looked at Junmyeon. “You should go.”

“(Y/N) -”

“Not now, Junmyeon, not now.” You just shook your head. He seemingly understood then, he just nodded slowly and got into his car, not hesitating to drive away. You sighed in relief but you couldn’t help but realize what had just happened.

He most likely put two and two together.

And once he found out that Hyemi was his, he had no problem with running.

* * *

It was three in the morning when you were woken up by obnoxious knocking on your door. You groaned and got up, needing to put a stop to it before whoever it was woke Hyemi up. You swung the door open and you were confronted with a more than disheveled Kim Junmyeon.

“You’ve gotta stop showing up at my house in the middle of the night.” You scoffed, shaking your head. “What do you want?”

“She’s mine.” He whispered, barely audible. “She’s mine and you hid her from me for seven years.”

“That’s ridiculous -”

“We graduated in May and the last time we had sex was late August. That puts her birthday around -”

“Jun, don’t -”

“- the middle of June. When’s her birthday, (Y/N)?”

“June 17th.” You muttered, unable to bring your voice above that. The tears had begun to form in your eyes and you wished he hadn’t come here.

“June 17th, 2018.” He finished. That’s when you broke. Tears fell down your face and you turned away from Junmyeon. He put his hand on your shoulder but you just shook him away from you. You walked away from him, unable to look at him.

He didn’t mind following you. He stopped you again, wrapping his fingers around your wrist.

“I want you to leave, Junmyeon.” You looked him in his eyes as you said that, remembering how all the time ago, you weren’t able to say it. He just shook his head slowly, not allowing you to make him leave.

“I-I have a daughter.” He choked up, his own eyes welling with tears. “And I wasn’t there for her…(Y/N), please let me be a part of her life.”

“Jun…I can’t just drop you on her like that.” You saw the way his body slouched as he sighed. From what you remembered, it took a lot to make Junmyeon cry. It came along with the ruthless high school fuckboy side of him.

“That’s my daughter in there.” He shook his head at you. “And I have the right to be in her life. You didn’t tell me about her for _seven years_  and you had every opportunity to. And now both of us are getting hit in the face with this damn reality.” He exhaled shakily. “I get that it was unfair of me to leave, but  _seven years_  of having my child and it never crossed your mind that I might want to know?”

“You were fucking living your dream, Junmyeon! How was I supposed to tell you? Tell me that you wouldn’t have given up everything right then.” You looked right into his eyes.

“Of  _course_  I would’ve!” He scoffed. “It was so fucking hard for me to leave. I wanted to be with you so badly and I just…I couldn’t face you again after that. I couldn’t look into your eyes because I would’ve told you that I loved you.”

“I never stopped loving you, Junmyeon.” You told him. “I’ve dated and I’ve had good relationships since you left but nothing compares to what we had. The first guy told me that, almost two years after you left, that I was still fucking in love with you and I needed to sort that out.”

“I wouldn’t have expected you to wait for me.” The hurt was evident in his voice. “I mean…I’m sorry.” He ran his fingers through his hair.

“So it’s okay for you to move on but not for me?” You frowned.

“No, no, that’s not it.” He quickly reassured you. “I guess…I don’t know. I don’t like the idea of you with other guys. It just…it kinda makes my heart hurt? I’m sorry I sound like a ten year old boy.” He chuckled quietly. “I’m just gonna save you the trouble.” He gave you a small, forced smile before he turned around and walked towards your door.

Before you even realized what you were doing, you reached out and wrapped your fingers around his wrist. He turned to look at you once again, the slight glint of desperation in his eyes gave away exactly what he wanted from you.

He wanted you back. He wanted you and his daughter.

“I want to take this slow.” You told him. “We can’t just throw you into her life, and as much as I know you want to, you can’t tell her anything yet.”

“(Y/N), how can I sit next to my daughter and not let her know who I am?” He asked, the struggle in his voice was clear.

“Jun, she’s not a baby. She’s seven, she’s not going to immediately become attached to you.” You explained to him. “Please, if you really want to do this, let’s take it slow, okay?”

“Okay.” He nodded slowly. “I can do that for you. For our daughter.” His tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Can I…can I kiss you?” His words, for some reason, sent butterflies raging in your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

You couldn’t form any words so all you did was nod. He grabbed your hand and pulled you to him quickly, his other hand finding the small of your back as he pressed his lips against yours. It had been so long since you’d been kissed with raw emotion like that.

Your hands moved up to feel his hair. It was impossibly soft, just like the feeling of his fingertips on you. His tongue swept across your bottom lip and you let him in without any hesitation. His tongue worked against yours and his fingers clenched the fabric of your shirt, as if to remind himself that you were real. As soon as you gasped against his lips he pulled away from you, looking into your eyes.

“I’m leaving now.” He told you. “I’m taking it slow. I don’t want to leave, but I’m going to. Why do you make this so hard for me?” He whined. “I’ve missed you. Okay, I’m done being  _that_  guy, I’ll stop now.” He gave you a small smile. “Tomorrow, there’s this work thing I’m supposed to go to and you should really come with me. It starts at six so if you want I can pick you up at five. It’s a formal event so if you don’t have anything I can pick you up at four and we can -”

“Jun,” you grinned at him. “I’d love to go with you. And as for the outfit, I’m sure I can find something. Now, go and get some sleep, okay? Stop making a habit of showing up at my house in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, now I’m gonna do it every night just so I can kiss you before I go to bed.” He bit his lip. “Just…one more before I go.” He reconnected your lips, the sweet softness of his nearly making you melt into his touch.

Soon enough after that, he was gone. You found it hard to fall asleep but once you did he’d even begun to invade your dreams. You groaned when your daughter woke you up at seven in the morning.

Time flew by as you sent your daughter to your mother’s for the night. Not that you had any bad intentions with Junmyeon, but a girl should never be unprepared. Plus, if Junmyeon was anything like he was back in high school, he  _really_  liked sex. The two of you had a lot of sex within the window of time you were together.

You settled on a black dress that hugged all of your curves in just the right way. One of the benefits that came with your pregnancy was  _you’d_  lost your baby weight, but your butt didn’t. You did your makeup before finding a pair of black heels that added a couple inches to your height. You curled your hair and you heard the knock on your door just as you finished your hair. You frowned, looking at the time on your phone. It was only four.

You opened the door and you were faced with Junmyeon. As soon as he saw you his eyes widened.

“Holy shit.” He muttered, clearing his throat awkwardly afterwards.

“Is this okay? I can change -”

“No, no, leave it on.” He chuckled. “I just didn’t think it was possible for you to be even more beautiful than you were at eighteen.” Your cheeks heated up at his comment. His white shirt was tucked into the black pants of his suit, the suit jacket on his arm. You couldn’t help but look at the way the shirt accented his muscles - which had also grown since high school.

“Is Hyemi here?” He asked.

“No, she’s with my mom.” You told him. “I’m assuming none of your co-workers know about her yet.”

“Not yet.” He shook his head. “You’d be surprised, a lot of my colleagues are the same guys from high school. Just older and less fun than me.” You scoffed at that one, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, because you’re  _so_  much fun.”

“I’ll prove to you just how fun I am.” He defended himself. “Shall we?” He held his hand out to you. You nodded with a shy smile and led you to his car.

He wasn’t wrong. Many of the people you had considered the ‘dumb jocks’ in high school were now in the big leagues. It did more than surprise you. There was Sehun, Yixing, Jongin, and even Chanyeol among the many you remembered.

To say they were all surprised to find you with Junmyeon was an understatement. Junmyeon didn’t mind that you held on to his arm. You went around and greeted your old schoolmates - you even talked to Chanyeol.

Thankfully, all of them had grown and matured a lot in the past seven years - Yixing and Jongin were married, the others in relationships. Yixing’s wife was expecting a baby, Jongin’s wife wanted to wait a bit. You refrained from bringing your child into the conversation.

“I thought the two of you broke up.” Yixing commented, coming to stand next to you as you looked at Junmyeon across the room.

“Uh, yeah, we did.” You shrugged. “They always say that things come back to you if it’s meant to be.” You took a sip from your wine glass and noticed how intently you were looking at Junmyeon. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize, it’s understandable. You’re right. True love prevails, you know?” He grinned at you. “You haven’t changed much, you know. And I wasn’t the best guy in high school, not to you or anyone really, so I’m sorry for that. I guess having a daughter of my own on the way kind of opened my eyes to what a douche I was back then.”

“You weren’t  _that_  bad, give yourself some credit.” You chuckled. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. If I could go back, I wouldn’t change anything that happened. I’m just glad you’re all getting along still. I thought that after high school, Chanyeol and Junmyeon were going to fight to the death.”

“I still get weary over them being in the same room. They seem fine though.” He told you. You looked up and made eye contact with Junmyeon, who flashed you a smile.

“Junmyeon…he grew up a lot.” You told him, not taking your eyes off of Junmyeon.

“How do the two of you still manage to be in love after seven years of not seeing each other?” Yixing said, his voice laced with disbelief. “You’re the only person I’ve seen him look at like that.”

“I’ve been in love with him since I was nine years old.” You laughed. Junmyeon began to walk toward you and you greeted him with a smile.

“Yixing, do you mind if I steal her away for a few?” Junmyeon asked his friend.

“Of course not.” Yixing chuckled. “Be good to her, Junmyeon.” With that, he walked off and you looked up at Junmyeon.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t even know.” He smiled at you. “I miss standing next to you. Being with you.”

“You’ve got me now, Jun.” You smoothed out his hair with your fingertips and straightened his tie. “You’re a mess, how did you do this without me?”

“No idea.” He shook his head. “It’s almost time to go.” The pout was evident on his face.

“Well, I’m not suggesting that you  _should_  come to my place but I’m saying you  _can_  if you want to.” You shrugged, watching as the smile grew on his face. He bit his lip as he contemplated it.

“I’m not suggesting it’s a  _bad_  idea but I’m saying I’d  _really_  like to stay with you if you’d let me.”

The two of you left that night and you stopped at his own apartment so he could grab a change of clothes and everything he needed to get. You didn’t need to worry about Hyemi either - she was with your mother and she wouldn’t be back until the afternoon tomorrow.

When you arrived at your apartment, you quickly took your heels off and told Junmyeon you were going to go change. Once you’d finished changing, you walked back out to find Junmyeon had changed out of his suit as well.

“You’re just so beautiful.” He whined. “That’s not fair to me.”

“Oh, hush.” You smiled at him. “C’mon.” You led him into your room and both of you climbed into bed. Within seconds he had you pulled close to him, your head rested against his chest. It had been so long since anyone had held you so tightly and you loved it.

“What time is she coming home tomorrow?” He asked you quietly, his fingers tracing shapes into your arms.

“Mom said sometime in the afternoon.” You told him, already feeling sleep pull at you.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Get some sleep.” He kissed the top of your head and you lulled off into sleep.

When you woke up, Junmyeon was still fast asleep next to you. You sighed but didn’t move away from him, just deciding to bury your head into his chest until he woke up. You didn’t even know how long it took, but eventually you heard the sound he always used to make when he woke up - a small groan.

“You’re so warm.” He mumbled, his morning voice was already getting to you. You felt your face heat up and you encouraged yourself to just  _stop_.

“You’re like a heat vent.” You chuckled, wrapping your arms around him. He shifted and you almost gasped. It was clear you weren’t the only one affected this early in the morning. He cursed under his breath.

“I’m sorry, I really can’t help it.” He sounded nervous. “I’ll move if you want, I’ll go home -”

“Calm down, Jun, it’s nothing I haven’t felt before.” That shut him up and you almost laughed. “I think…we should take care of it.”

“Good God, don’t do this to me.” He whined, gripping your arm tightly. “I said we would take it slow.”

“I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time we had sex before we started dating.” You shrugged, mostly trying to rationalize with yourself why you were doing this. His hand began to travel down your side to one of your legs, feeling the material of your shorts.

“Let’s not make that a pattern.” He chuckled. “Be my girlfriend…again.”

“Okay.” You replied, moving your head so you could kiss his neck. “I’ll be your girlfriend.”

“Thank God.” He groaned, flipping you onto your back and hovering over you. “I’ve been fucking dying to touch you since you put that damn dress on yesterday.”

“Why didn’t you?” You challenged him, making him groan again.

“This is  _not_  taking it slow.” He reminded you.

“Would you rather not?”

“Okay, you’re right, I’ll stop talking.” He kissed you deeply, grinding his hips against yours.

“Jun…” when he looked at you, you continued. “It’s…been a while.” You blushed, but he nodded, a small smile on his face as his rough movements turned soft. He kissed you deeply, his hand slowly trailing up your shirt. He found your bare breast quickly, softly massaging it with his hand as he deepened his kiss with you.

“You’re so soft.” He whispered, breaking the kiss to pull your shirt over your head. His shirt followed and finally you were able to admire his muscles. His hands were holding him up, gripping the sheets next to your head. “God damn it, I missed you.”

Instead of an answer, you pushed at the hem of his pants, even though the thought of being with him again made your stomach clench with nerves.

“If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to.” He told you.

“No, that’s not it,” you reassured him. “I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous about me, babe.” He moved down to kiss your neck. “I’ll make you feel good.” The words sent a chill down your spine. You whimpered as he sucked on your collarbone.

“Jun, I need you.” You whispered to him. Those words along got him to push his pants down and pull your panties and shorts off in one swift movement.

“I’ll be gentle.” He told you. “Hold on to me, okay? If it hurts, hit me or something.” He kissed you deeply and you felt his tip against your entrance. You were distracted from the kiss but one of his hands moved to cup your cheek. “Focus on kissing.” His words sent you back to the night you’d lost your virginity to him. Your breathing sped up but you nodded, pulling him in for another kiss.

He slid into you breathtakingly slow. The stretch only stung for a few seconds before you adjusted to him. He sat there for a second, completely bottomed out inside of you, waiting for you to give him the go. You couldn’t help but squirm under him.

“Move.” You told him, feeling him immediately begin to move his hips. He was slow at first, pulling out a couple inches before pushing back in. You moaned quietly, lifting your hips to meet his. The sounds of him sliding in and out of your wetness reverberated through the room and you enjoyed every second of it.

“I’m gonna start now.” He whispered to you, his voice clouded with the need and want he expressed for you. He paused, grabbing your wrists and pinning them next to your head as he began to thrust inside you. The sounds soon became accompanied by your moans and his small grunts of pleasure.

You fought against his grip on your wrists but it wasn’t working out the way you planned. He slid into your sweet spot and you moaned loudly, your body curling into his as you squirmed beyond what you thought possible.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His voice was deep with arousal and it only served to make you tighten around him. “Oh fuck, do that again.” He moaned. You clenched your muscles and he cursed under his breath. His fingers trailed down your body to rub your clit in circles. You couldn’t hold it back anymore, an undeniable warmth flooded through your body and from your head to your toes you fell into an indescribable euphoria. Soon after, Junmyeon followed your bliss and hit his high himself.

The two of you sat there, breathless and completely spent.

“It has been  _way_  too long since we’ve done that.” Junmyeon told you, catching his breath. “I really don’t -” He was cut off by the sound of a knock on your front door. Your eyes widened and the two of you looked at each other.

“Fuck, what time is it?” You asked, hopping out of your bed and quickly putting your clothes back on. Junmyeon checked his phone.

“Holy shit, it’s already three.” He blushed as he looked at you, following your lead with putting his clothes back on. You finished redressing first and you ran to the door, opening it to see your mother and your daughter.

“Oh my, are you alright?” Your mother asked. “Your cheeks are all flushed. Are you sick?”

“Oh, no, mom, I’m okay. Really, I wasn’t even -” You felt Junmyeon behind you and you blushed, looking away from your mom. He wrapped his arms around you and you got as close to him as you could. “You remember Junmyeon.”

“Weren’t the two of you already irresponsible enough?” She frowned, narrowing her eyes at Junmyeon. “There’s a little girl in the picture now, was it really the best idea for this to happen so late in the afternoon?”

“Mom, we’re both adults, please -”

“How do you know he won’t disappear again? I had to take care of you both times.”

“ _Mom_.” You growled at her. “Thanks for dropping Hyemi off. You can go now.” Thankfully she listened. Hyemi ran off to her room and you were left with Junmyeon again.

“(Y/N), wait.” He looked at you. Clearly your mother’s words had affected him too. “I…I’m not leaving again.”

“Jun…don’t listen to her -”

“No, she was right. You have no reason to trust me and especially after I didn’t even have the decency to come talk to you…maybe we could’ve worked this out earlier. And now I just took advantage of you -”

“Woah, woah, slow down.” You chuckled. “That was not taking advantage of me. I was perfectly sober, awake, I knew what I was doing. I wanted that just as much as you did. Whatever she said doesn’t matter, okay? It’s not about the past, it’s the future and now.”

“I still love you.” His voice lowered to near a whisper. You froze for a second, looking at him. He continued. “I know it’s been so long but I really haven’t stopped thinking about you and what was going on at home since I left. Even in high school, I  _always_  checked on you. I used to ask your mom how you were doing and I tried to protect you the best I could.”

“And you did a good job, Jun, okay? I never stopped loving you since I was nine years old.”

“Let’s get married.”

“What the hell?” Your eyes widened as you looked up at him.

“I…I love you, and you can’t tell me that if I had stayed that we wouldn’t have been married by now.” He began. “I just want to be a family, and I know you don’t want to move fast, but I just want to call you mine. That’s all I’ve wanted since we were kids. And it’d be so much easier for Hyemi - just think about it.”

“Jun…that’s crazy.” You shook your head.

“No it’s not.” He replied. “It’s really not. Our  _family_  is right in front of our eyes,  _why_  are we hesitating?”

“Because I’m terrified, Junmyeon.” You told him. The door to your daughter’s bedroom opened and you both looked at her.

“Mommy, I want you to marry Mr. Junmyeon.” She told you, tugging on your sleeve. “Grandma told me that he’s my daddy and all the other kids at school have one but me.” You felt stuck in between making your daughter and Junmyeon happy and doing what was best for you. You were terrified that he was going to leave again.

“Mr. Junmyeon.” Junmyeon chuckled at that one, looking at Hyemi.

“Just give me some time to think on it, okay?” You looked pleadingly at Junmyeon. He nodded slowly, agreeing to whatever amount of time you wanted.

To an extent, he was right. Why were you hesitating? You  _finally_  had the man you wanted, the one you always knew you would end up with - he was right her, wanting to be with you forever. Turning that over in your brain was hard.

A lot changed in a year. Junmyeon moved into your apartment in order to spend more time with both you and Hyemi, yet you still hadn’t answered his question. Hyemi was eight and in the third grade and Junmyeon drove her to school every morning and you picked her up after work.

One day when you were picking her up from school, she asked you a question that you never thought you’d hear come from her mouth.

“Mommy, am I ever gonna have a brother or a sister?” She asked you.

“Um, I don’t know, sweetheart.” You told her. “You’ll have to ask daddy that question, okay?” You thought she would chicken out. Of course, the one time it mattered, she didn’t. And that led to a very serious conversation between you and Junmyeon.

“Do you want to have more kids?” He asked you. He was clearly just as confused on how to approach this as you were.

“Well, yes, of course, but…is now the right time?” You asked him.

“I think any time would be a good time.” He shrugged. “There’s not anything that could really…go wrong.”

“The thing is…I would want to get married first.” You told him. “I don’t want people to think that our children are all accidents.”

“Then we can start planning for a wedding.”

“There’s just a small problem with that.” You replied. “Hyemi already thinks we’re married. I think it’d be best if we skipped the ceremony and just went to the courthouse.”

“I just want you to be happy.” He grabbed your hand with his own. “I don’t want you to feel like we  _have_  to get married. Just being with you is enough for me.”

“I want to get married, Jun, but it’s not a good idea to have a big ceremony. Especially if we’re trying to have another kid.”

“Ugh, I hate being an adult. I’m getting old.”

“You’re literally twenty-six, shut up.” You scoffed, slapping his shoulder. His eyes turned into half moons as he laughed and you silenced him with a kiss.

“I say conceiving kid number two starts now.” He suggested against your lips.

“Not when kid number one is literally right in the other room.” You pulled away from him and patted his chest. He pouted at you and pulled you back to him, kissing you deeply.

“Do y’think your mom’ll take her for the weekend?” He asked you. “This gives me the excuse to have my way with you on every piece of furniture in this place.”

“You’re so bad.” You smacked his chest. “I’ll have to give her a better reason than that.”

“Tell her we’re getting married and child number two is gonna be conceived whether she takes Hyemi for the weekend or not…but if the kid gets scarred for life, it’s on your mom.” His words made you giggle and you kissed him again before you stood up and went to grab your phone.

“I’ll ask her.”

* * *

It was only hours later that your mother picked up Hyemi, with little words spoken between the two of you. Junmyeon had been seemingly researching for hours, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Babe, this makes no sense.” He whined. “What the fuck is ovulation?”

“You’re cute.” You muttered, walking over to him and sitting on his lap. “Really cute.” You moved to straddle his lap and he started scolding you.

“Sperm shouldn’t work against gravity, (Y/N).” He told you, squeezing your waist. “Do you know how hard it is to swim  _against_  a current?”

“Does this mean you’re gonna go all soft on me?” You leaned down to kiss his neck.

“Of course not.” He scoffed. “I need you to do what I say though, okay?” He bit his lip, feeling your lips leave his skin. You looked him in the eyes and he smiled at you. “I want you to strip and get on all fours on our bed, alright?” You nearly shivered in excitement as you quickly jumped from his lap and did exactly what he said.

He entered the room a few minutes after you, his shirt absent from his chest and his jeans were unbuttoned. You were undeniably wet for him, the idea of him taking you from the back was enough to turn you on.

“I can see how wet you are from here, baby.” He nearly moaned his words out. He approached you slowly. “Apparently the more turned on I am, the more sperm is produced…fuck, you’re so sexy.” You heard the material of his pants hit the ground and you could feel your arousal beginning to trail down your thighs.

“Junmyeon, please just… _please_.” The bed dipped behind you and you felt his hand hit your ass. You moaned, arching your back so your ass was further in the air. He applied pressure against your entrance with the tip of his cock but he refused to actually push inside of you. Every time you tried to slide back onto him, he’d deliver another slap to your ass.

“Are you ovulating right now?” He asked you, acting as if you weren’t dripping for his cock to slam into you.

“Oh my God, Junmyeon if you don’t fuck me right now I’m gonna fucking -” And suddenly he was sheathed inside you. You screamed out in pleasure, gripping the bed sheets below you.

“What were you gonna do, princess?” You moaned again at the use of the name before you began to grind against him.

The way he began to pound into you was different than anything you’d ever experienced with Junmyeon before. The headboard slammed against the wall and you felt sorry for you poor neighbors that were sure to give you weird looks from now on.

The was the fastest you ever finished when in bed with him, usually he made it last but he showed no mercy for you. His fingers gripped your hips so hard you were sure there would be marks there in a few hours. When he was done with you, you collapsed against the bed and he made you lie on your back, placing one of the pillows below your hips. You raised your eyebrow at him but he just grinned at you.

“You shouldn’t get up for ten to fifteen minutes.” He kissed your cheek, lying next to you and planting little kisses all over your face at random times.

There was something different about actually planning on having a child. It was almost magical - Junmyeon was super weary of you and still knew his boundaries. There was way more sex involved in your daily lives, but there were times when you just weren’t in the mood and he understood that. Everything, despite some rough sex, was sweeter than it was any other day.

By the end of that weekend, you were sure that if you weren’t pregnant, you never would be. With Junmyeon’s careful research and attentive care, it only took you two months to get pregnant. He was very proud of himself. He boasted to all of his friends how he was going to have  _two_  kids now.

Already married, you two were living the life you’d always wanted. It was just you, Junmyeon, and your children. You were a sweet family, and although Junmyeon tried to convince you to have more kids, you weren’t convinced that was the best idea. You happened to get accidentally pregnant a third time around your son’s fourth birthday.

It was easy for you guys to be a real family. After all, it’s what both of you had wanted for a long time. After your fourth child, you decided you were done. No more of Junmyeon purposely getting you pregnant. You went back on birth control after your third daughter was born. Hyemi was almost fifteen now, much to Junmyeon’s dismay. Her first year of high school was approaching and Junmyeon was extremely nervous.

Hyemi was the oldest, then Heejoon, Kiyoung, and finally Soyoon. After Soyoon was born, it was hard for you and Junmyeon to get anything near alone time. You remembered vividly when Kiyoung was five and she almost walked in on Junmyeon eating you out.  _That_  would’ve been really hard to explain. Thankfully, she was struggling with the doorknob long enough for you guys to pretend nothing was happening.

It was on a Saturday night, all the children were asleep and you were laying against Junmyeon’s shoulder. His arm was around you and he was practically falling asleep on the couch. You reached up and touched his cheek, one of his eyes opening to look at you.

“You’re getting old.” You told him. “You’re too tired.” His eyes closed again and he smiled.

“Baby, I’ve been working longer.” He sighed. “I don’t like coming home so late.” You kissed his cheek and ran your fingers through his hair.

“Don’t worry about it, I understand.” You smiled at how cute he was when he was tired. “Let’s go to bed, okay?” You coaxed him off the couch, but by the time he was lying in bed, you could tell something was bothering him.

You didn’t know how to address it, but you figured you should just ask.

“Junmyeon, what’s bothering you?”

“I just…” He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I feel like I’m not satisfying you like I was before we had the kids.” He explained. “And I can’t even stay up past nine and you’re always still up…am I disappointing you?”

“Jun, of course not.” You replied to him. “You could never disappoint me. Just because you work later and you’re tired doesn’t make you a bad husband or a bad father. And for the satisfaction thing, when would we…have time anyway? These kids aren’t very good at knocking.”

“I feel like I could be doing  _better_  though, and I hate that I have to drag my family with me through some unpleasant things.” He was really upset about this. You could tell by his body language.

“Kim Junmyeon, listen to me.” You cupped his cheek so he would look at you and you ran your thumb over the soft skin of his face. “You’re doing the best you can. Don’t stress over something you can’t control. You should get some rest, I know you’re tired.” You kissed him softly and he smiled at you.

“I love you so much.” He slid down and rested his head on the pillows, pulling the blankets up and wrapping his arms around you. “Thank you for giving me what I’ve always wanted.”

Except you knew he wasn’t just talking about his kids, or his life.

He was talking about his one wish: to always have you by his side.


End file.
